The Value Of Assignments In Therapy Cannot Be Understated
One of my clients said to me the other day that she had seen many therapists but no-one like me. While I was still trying to work out whether this was a compliment or not,...
Difficult Times? It Is All A State Of Mind
We all have times when everything gets too much. There are many issues to face, things to do, plan and action to be taken. Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed, paralysed and wonder how we will get through...
The Basis Of The Inner Critic
Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem...
Dealing With Life’s Small (And Not So Small) Setbacks
Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing...
Perfectionism Is Truly Driven By Self Defeating Thoughts
Samuel McChord Crothers once wrote "try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labours is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways". Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough?...
The Fear Factor
The old saying goes “Life is about choices. If you don’t like your life, make better choices”. This is totally correct. We make choices about most of the things that happen to us in our lives. We can choose to stay in a relationship or go...
Why Parents Must Let Go
The messages we get from our parents as we grow up determine the way we see the world as an adult. If all things go well, we grow up to be independent with a secure attachment to the family base. However, when dysfunction happens, we become locked in a cycle of codependency...
The Role Of A Father
As I work longer with clients, it is clear that the parenting style that they were subjected to as a child is extremely important in determining how they see the world. This conditioning is often taken into adulthood and causes dysfunction in relationships and in life generally...
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