health Archives

Thinking Wisely: Releasing The Inner Champion

My last two posts, I have looked at very dysfunctional voices in our heads and how easy it is to follow them. They offer quick-fix solutions that have no substance at all...

Therapy For Codependency: Get Help From Your Internal Family

When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them...

Communication: Direct Accusation vs Problem Identification

When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less...

Perfectionism Is Truly Driven By Self Defeating Thoughts

Samuel McChord Crothers once wrote "try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labours is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways". Do you feel like what you accomplish is never quite good enough?...

Partner Doesn’t Accept Your Boundaries… Get Out!

People like me are always trying to make others see the value of setting healthy boundaries in the spirit of emotional honesty. That is expressing what you feel honestly and assertively when there is a feeling that a boundary needs to be set...

Smack your child? You are an Abuser

do you smack your children? If so, you could soon be punished by law if lobbyists in EU have their way. Let me pitch in. There is no excuse in this world that can justify assaulting a child in the name of discipline!...

The Fear Factor

The old saying goes “Life is about choices. If you don’t like your life, make better choices”. This is totally correct. We make choices about most of the things that happen to us in our lives. We can choose to stay in a relationship or go...

Why Parents Must Let Go

The messages we get from our parents as we grow up determine the way we see the world as an adult. If all things go well, we grow up to be independent with a secure attachment to the family base. However, when dysfunction happens, we become locked in a cycle of codependency...