We are all prone to a bit of scrolling and escape on social media but there are some who spend a large majority of their time on it and that’s when it becomes problematic. As a therapist who works online, I am very much in tune with technology. My private social media use, however, is virtually non existent, except for an old FB page that I never get to really do much with. I like it that way, mainly due to some of the issues I will be discussing in this article.
A useful statistic gives hope though. According to a recent study by GWI that covered 250,000 adults, social media use is down by ten percent from its peak in 2022. The ones leaving are younger people and interestingly, many people in their twenties are deleting social media apps from their phones, citing the rise of so-called “AI Slop”. Even more interesting was that social media use is now being driven by the older age groups. You can, according to the research, now find many ads on social media sites, claiming to help you with social media addiction. How ironic.
Anyone who comes into therapy and describes “doomscrolling” as an issue, usually presents it as a single problem. Yet, it develops like many modern habits do, as background noise that gradually, unconsciously seeps into our day and can become an organizing principle. It starts with filling a bit of time with connection, distraction, information or entertainment but almost without noticing, the phone and all it contains becomes the first thing touched in the morning and the last at night. As a therapist who works with many people who use social media as mindless escape, I’ve come to realize that it’s not always about screen time but what that time is doing (or not doing) for the person, what it is costing them and whether they are exercising any real choice in the matter. Research does strongly suggest that problematic and impulsive use is reliably linked with depression, anxiety, poorer well being and sleep issues.
One of the methods employed by social media companies is attentional conditioning, driven by algorithms . Social media, as a concept, is engineered around novelty and interruption. New posts, new reels, new comments, new messages, new likes, delivered on a regular basis. The brain learns that boredom can be solved in an instant and constantly wants more. However, boredom, like many other mental states, is a transition point where feelings, thoughts and needs start appearing in our conscious mind. If every transition point or small feeling of discomfort is met with a scroll, the nervous system will practice avoidance rather than regulation. Over time, this leads to people feeling the same discomfort when they are away from their phone and almost panic, if it is lost. They are not addicted to the content but the rapid relief from the discomfort that can be seen as part of normal daily life. Social media companies and wellness giants consolidate this with the idea that problems can be eased by “soothing” yourself, rather than facing issues head-on.
In our modern age, comparison has become a pandemic and it has a marked effect on the issue of mood and self-worth. Comparison is rarely neutral and even if someone intellectually knows that they are seeing a filtered, highly curated reel or post, their emotional system still absorbs that there are people out there who are more successful, happier, more attractive, more connected and have more successful relationships with picture perfect people, children and pets. That intellectual understanding can easily slip into shame, envy, self-criticism and a sense of missing out and falling behind. On the other hand, with a sense of balance, some social media sites offer support groups that provide genuine support that cannot be replicated offline sometimes. The question should always be, is it helping you live or is it replacing life? We’ve all seen the groups of people, (even families with young children) sitting in a cafe or restaurant, scrolling and not saying a word to each other ( or attending to their young).
One of the areas most affected by “problematic” social media use is our sleep patterns. I have heard people say that they cannot sleep without scrolling beforehand and often turn to scrolling if they wake up in the middle of the night. (No doubt annoyingly so for the person lying next to them!). The “blue light” has been often named as a culprit but sleep disruption comes from constant stimulation, emotional arousal and the loss of boundaries around the end of the day. If you take in conflict, comparison and novelty at night, your nervous system won’t just politely switch off when you want it to. According to recent research, it is not social media use in itself that causes sleep problems but the impulse to continue to watch longer than is considered normal that is the real issue. Read any article on good sleep and you will find that the last hour before sleep, should be a winding down process. Reading, journalling, relaxing. Convincing yourself that scrolling is relaxing is not really going to help.
At this point, it would be relevant to talk about social media addiction, which is debated as a formal diagnosis. You will find different opinions on whether it should be classed in the same way as substance abuse. However, addiction in clinical terms, is a pattern. Impaired control, increasing sense of priority and need, persistence despite the harm it causes and a general narrowing of life generally, while a focus on the “need” increases. The World Health Organization’s description of Gaming Disorder in ICD-11 is a good behavioral template, impaired control, increasing priority over other activities, and continuation or escalation despite negative consequences. Many people with problematic social media use would recognize that pattern instantly, even if the label remains contested.
If you want to look at it in a more practical way, we can look at familiar addiction-like features when assessing social media use. In most models, addiction becomes the default focus when dealing with dysfunction, it is used to change mood, soothe, numb, distract or act as a pick-me-up, it develops from a “quick check” to an hour lost and you show irritability, restlessness, anxiety or flatness when use is restricted or is not available, it increases conflict (especially with anyone who might suggest a change in behavior) , reduces presence with loved ones and involves repeated failed attempts to cut down. Above all, a pattern of cue, craving, routine, reward is recognized. Pretty much all along the lines of what clients describe when talking about problematic use of social media.
The consequences of not finding a solution increases as time goes on. Poor sleep leads to poorer concentration, weaker impulse control and subsequent attempts to avoid scrolling often fail. Attention and focus are impaired so work becomes an issue and takes more effort. Emotional resilience drops so minor stresses become dramas and feel bigger. Lack of presence and the missing feeling of “being in the moment” will mean that relationships will suffer. As with our example of the cafe, you can be in the same room as someone and sense they are somewhere else. Especially if you are using social media as a way to avoid grief, loneliness, anger or uncertainty, the instant gratification aspect of social media means that these emotions stay unprocessed in the long term.
So enough about the research and consequences, how can someone who feels they have a problem, limit social media use in a way that sticks? The answer is to treat the solution as behavior change and not self improvement (even if that is an unintended consequence). Willpower will only work in a limited way against the giant machine of reward and instant relief. So make access more difficult. Turn off non-essential notifications, especially push alerts. Remove social apps from the home screen and make it more “boring”. Put the apps in a special folder where effort is needed to access them and log out so that re-entry involves a decision. That indeed, takes willpower.
One important thing is to decide what to do when you feel the urge to scroll when emotion rises. Decide beforehand to put your phone down, go for a walk, make tea, step outside, message a trusted friend or journal about how you are feeling. The brain hates a vacuum which is why the impulses are so great.
Try then, to build traditional, old fashioned boundaries. No phone while eating, no phone in bed and charge it away from the bedroom. Start with one boundary you know you can keep and build up. “ I will not look at my phone after 9.30 at night”. “ I will drink tea for 30 minutes in the morning without looking at my phone”. A small, “boring”, back to basics boundary held consistently is better than a massive “detox” program that ends after a short time.
During this abstinence, ask yourself relevant questions to bring self-awareness. “What is my use of social media bringing me?”. If it’s connection, try other ways to find it. A walk or chat with a friend, an offline group in line with your interests, a personal project you have been neglecting. If it is soothing (as it often is), try breathing, movement, music, a shower or a short grounding routine of your choice. If it is avoidance, practice sitting with the discomfort for a while before making a decision what to do next (except jump back on your phone). Most people will claim they can’t do these things but it usually means they won’t. However, evidence tells us that urges and impulses rise and fall if you don’t feed them immediately.
In this process, it is important to distinguish what is the difference between intentional and compulsive use. Compulsive use usually means you jump on your phone when you are tired, stressed, lonely or bored and you usually start before you even realize what you are doing. The aim is a choice made under free will for more sleep, more focus and more presence. When you cut out the noise that social media creates, you can start to hear yourself again. Your life may feel more “boring” but you will have more clarity and clarity is where change begins.
