In-Depth Guide: Why You Love the Way You Do — The Psychology of Attachment

Post author:Dr Nicholas Jenner
Post published:December 7, 2025

Childhood shapes far more of our adult relationship patterns than most people realise. The ways we learned to love, trust, communicate, and seek connection in those early years become the emotional blueprint we carry into adulthood. Whether we experienced secure bonds or grew up with anxiety, avoidance, trauma, conflict, or emotional neglect, these early dynamics influence how we relate to others today, often unconsciously.

In this episode, we explore how attachment styles form, how childhood experiences shape emotional regulation, why we repeat painful relational patterns (including Freud’s repetition compulsion), and how early wounds continue to influence the partners we choose and the dynamics we tolerate. More importantly, we look at how awareness, compassion, and therapeutic practices such as inner-child work and parts work can help us break free from outdated patterns and step into healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

If you’ve ever wondered “Why do I keep repeating the same relationship patterns?”, this episode offers clarity, insight, and a path forward.

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Dr Nicholas Jenner

Dr. Nicholas Jenner, a therapist, coach, and speaker, has over 20 years of experience in the field of therapy and coaching. His specialty lies in treating codependency, a condition that is often characterized by a compulsive dependence on a partner, friend, or family member for emotional or psychological sustenance. Dr. Jenner's approach to treating codependency involves using Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, a treatment method that has gained widespread popularity in recent years. He identifies the underlying causes of codependent behavior by exploring his patients' internal "parts," or their different emotional states, to develop strategies to break free from it. Dr. Jenner has authored numerous works on the topic and offers online therapy services to assist individuals in developing healthy relationships and achieving emotional independence.