Therapy Shorts 91: After A Narcissist… What Next?
So, you have done the hard part. The narcissist is thankfully gone. It matters little whether discard happened or the courage was finally found to get rid of them, the…
A sparrow breaks free from a chain as the sun sets over a mountainous coastline.
Therapy Shorts 90: Not Every Difficult Ex Is a Narcissist. Sometimes You Were Just Addicted to Chaos
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
A chain link shatters dramatically with sparks and glass fragments flying outward
The Codependent Fantasy: If I Love Them Properly, They Will Change
This article explores the codependent fantasy that enough love, patience, and understanding will change another person. It examines how hope, self-abandonment, and early relational conditioning keep people attached to harmful relationships, and why recovery begins with seeing reality clearly rather than trying to rescue someone who will not change.
Therapy Shorts 89: Discipline And Responsibility Are The Keys To Happiness
About two years ago, I wrote a rather philosophical post pontificating about What Do We Need to Make us Happy? As I generally do, I placed this article on various websites for people to read and comment...
A sparrow breaks free from a chain as the sun sets over a mountainous coastline.
Therapy Shorts 88: Why Leaving a Narcissist Can Feel Like Betrayal
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
Two coworkers share a thoughtful moment in a high-rise office with financial data on screens.
Why Successful People Can Still Be Codependent
Codependency does not always look needy or dependent. In high-functioning people, it often appears as competence, over-responsibility and being the one who holds everything together. This article explores how success can hide emotional over-functioning, self-abandonment and exhaustion, and why recovery means separating self-worth from being endlessly useful.
A woman looks upset while a man holds his head in distress in their living room.
Therapy Shorts 87: Boundary Guilt in Codependency: Why Feeling Bad Doesn’t Mean You’re Wrong
Feeling guilty after setting a boundary is common in codependency. This article explains why guilt often appears when you stop over-functioning, how to tell conscience from conditioning, and how to stay steady without apologising or collapsing. Learn a calmer way to hold boundaries and rebuild self-leadership.
Therapy Shorts 86: Why Guilt and Shame Keep Codependency in Place
Why does codependency recovery feel so guilty? This article explores the difference between guilt and shame, the hidden role of toxic responsibility, and why setting healthy boundaries can feel morally wrong. Learn how over-responsibility becomes identity, why resentment builds, and how real recovery begins by carrying less without caring less.
Two stones balanced on the sandy beach with ocean waves in the background
Healthy vs Pathological Narcissism: What You Need to Know
Healthy narcissism is a grounded sense of self-worth that supports confidence, resilience, empathy and healthy boundaries. It is very different from pathological narcissism, which is defensive and damaging. This article explains why healthy narcissism matters, how it develops, and why it is essential for emotional health and relationships.
Therapy Shorts 85: Those Who Say Can’t Usually Mean Won’t
How many times have you heard someone say “I can’t change”? If you are like me, you have heard it many times. In most cases, what is really being said is “I won’t change”…
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