relationships Archives - THE ONLINE THERAPIST

When Does Helping Become Controlling? The Other Side of Codependency

When does helping become controlling? Explore how codependency, rescuing, over-functioning, attachment and nervous-system patterns can blur the line between support and control.

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You Know What the Problem Is. So Why Do You Keep Doing It?

Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.

Two New Online Therapy Groups Starting This October

Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.

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Awareness Is Not Action: How to Move From Knowing to Doing

Understanding your patterns does not automatically change them. This article explores the difficult journey from awareness to action, looking at codependency, the nervous system, Internal Family Systems and behavioural change, and how practising different responses while tolerating discomfort can gradually turn psychological insight into meaningful and lasting change.

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Therapy Shorts 110: Take a Moment to Be Mindful

Mindfulness helps us step out of past regrets and future worries by returning attention to the present moment. This article explores how mindful awareness can reduce stress, improve emotional wellbeing, support better sleep, strengthen conflict resolution, and help us make calmer, more conscious choices in relationships and everyday daily life.

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When Independence Feels More Dangerous Than Dependence

Why can independence feel frightening after years of codependent relationships? This article explores how attachment patterns, childhood experiences, the nervous system and protective parts can make healthy boundaries feel unsafe. It explains why anxiety can increase during recovery and how greater independence can gradually support healthier connection and personal freedom.

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Therapy Shorts 108: We Don’t Miss the Person. We Miss the Feeling They Created.

Why is it so difficult to let go of unhealthy relationships? This article explores how childhood attachment, the nervous system and emotional familiarity influence adult attraction. Discover why you may miss the feeling more than the person, and how understanding these patterns can support healthier, more secure relationships.

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Why Chemistry Isn’t Enough for Lasting Love

The honeymoon phase is often seen as the most exciting stage of a relationship, but it can also distort judgement and encourage premature decisions. This article explores the psychology behind early romantic love, why chemistry differs from compatibility, and how time—not intensity—reveals the true foundations of lasting relationships.

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Therapy Shorts 105: The Unclear Boundaries of Emotional Cheating

Emotional cheating can be difficult to define because no physical boundary may have been crossed. This article explores when friendship becomes betrayal, why secrecy matters, how emotional energy shifts outside a relationship, and the questions couples can ask when deciding whether trust has been broken and whether it can return.

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Can Two People Ever Truly Know One Another?

Can two people ever truly know one another? This article explores the limits of understanding in relationships, revealing how assumptions, personal history and curiosity shape emotional connection. Learn why lasting relationships depend less on certainty and more on continual discovery, open communication and a willingness to keep learning together.