self-abandonment Archives - THE ONLINE THERAPIST

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The Relationship That Only Works When One Person Is Struggling

Some relationships feel strongest during crisis because one partner becomes the rescuer and the other remains dependent. This article explores how recovery, confidence and independence can unsettle that balance, revealing whether love can survive without fixed roles of carer and cared-for, and whether equality can replace emotional dependency safely.

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Therapy Shorts 88: Why Leaving a Narcissist Can Feel Like Betrayal

This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.

Therapy Shorts 84: Why You Keep Falling For The Wrong People

Why are codependents drawn to emotionally unavailable and inconsistent partners? This article explores how childhood conditioning, low self-worth and nervous system activation shape attraction, causing healthy love to feel unfamiliar. Learn why codependents mistake drama for connection and how recovery begins by judging behaviour, not chemistry.

Therapy Shorts 50: People Pleasing Isn’t Kindness, It’s Control

People-pleasing isn’t a personality trait. It’s a survival strategy. It’s something you learned early, in environments where being agreeable wasn’t optional , it was necessary.