trauma bonds Archives - THE ONLINE THERAPIST

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Different Partners, Same Problems: Why Relationship Patterns Repeat

Why do we keep repeating the same relationship patterns despite choosing different partners? This article explores how childhood experiences, emotional familiarity, and unconscious expectations shape our attractions and choices. Discover why familiar relationships often feel right, how patterns develop, and what it takes to create healthier, lasting connections.

Listen to my Interview on UK Health Radio

I recently had the privilege of joining UK Health Radio with psychotherapist Belynder Walia to discuss codependency, relationship patterns, and family dynamics. We explored how our early attachment experiences shape adult relationships — and what real recovery requires. Click the headphone icon to listen.

Therapy Shorts 52: Codependency Is All About Control And It Took Me Years to Come Out of Denial

Codependency often looks like kindness, but underneath it lies quiet, anxious control. In this piece, I explore how fear drives fixing, rescuing, and over-functioning and why reclaiming individuality is the true path to healing. If you’ve ever lost yourself in relationships, this will resonate deeply.

Self-Love Isn’t Just a Spa Day, It’s About Self-Accountability

Many people in therapy don’t always like it or agree when their therapist tells them (If they don’t, they should) that real self-love looks a lot like self-accountability. It’s not glamorous at all, it’s not Instagram worthy. It can be deeply unsettling and sometimes lonely. The “glamour” is just a way to avoid the pain of the work needed.