How often have you come across someone expressing, “I’m just an anxious person”? Perhaps you’ve expressed it yourself. Initially, it appears innocuous—a method of clarifying why you respond in a particular manner or experience discomfort in specific circumstances. However, there’s an underlying issue with that label: it transforms a fleeting emotional state into a permanent aspect of your identity.
Feeling anxious does not define your identity. It’s a response—your nervous system’s method of indicating that it senses danger or is feeling inundated. To put it differently, it’s a condition, not a characteristic. States are dynamic. They appear and disappear based on the situation, even when it seems like they are constantly present.
The challenge is that when anxiety seems unending, it’s simple to believe it’s a lasting state. As time goes on, individuals begin to think it’s ingrained in their character. However, that’s not the case. What frequently occurs is that you’ve adapted to exist in an elevated state of awareness—what professionals refer to as hyper-vigilance. That’s not a characteristic of who you are; it’s a method your mind and body developed at some stage, frequently as a reaction to pressure, hardship, or challenging situations.
The more insightful inquiry to consider is not, “Why do I behave this way?” but rather, “What surroundings, connections, or mental habits are trapping me in this cycle of anxiety?” This gentle transition helps you step back from self-criticism and fosters a sense of wonder about the true factors that are pushing your nervous system into high gear.
Once you stop viewing yourself negatively, you can start collaborating with anxiety instead of fighting against it. That means:
• Establishing boundaries with individuals or circumstances that repeatedly cause anxiety.
• Confronting mental frameworks that trap you in negative outcomes.
• Engaging in techniques like deep breathing, grounding exercises, or mindfulness practices.
• Embracing downtime rather than constantly striving to perform at peak levels.
The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety entirely—that’s neither feasible nor required. The goal is to keep it under control so it doesn’t dictate who you are. Your approach to self-care, the decisions you take, and the strategies you employ can significantly influence your anxiety levels.
Keep in mind: you are not defined by your anxiety. You’re an individual facing anxiety—a message from your body indicating that something requires your focus. Signals can be heard, interpreted, and responded to. Your identity doesn’t have to be defined by them.
