Therapy Shorts 25 – When Reality Is Twisted: How to Fight Back Against Gaslighting

Gaslighting represents a deeply deceptive and harmful form of psychological manipulation. It is anti-communication. It gradually undermines a person’s trust in their own understanding of what is real. People affected frequently express a sense of confusion, anxiety, and a struggle to trust their own recollections or decisions. Gaslighting often unfolds in a subtle and gradual manner, making it difficult for many people to identify until the harm has already taken its toll. Grasping how to navigate through it is crucial for restoring clarity and confidence in oneself.

Recognising the initial step is crucial. Gaslighting flourishes in uncertainty. When someone often overlooks your emotions, disputes your perspective without justification, or claims that occurrences unfolded in a way that contradicts your memory, these could be indicators to watch out for. Document events as they happen. A record allows you to reflect on your memories and gain insight as time passes. Journalling disrupts the pattern of self-doubt that manipulators rely on.

Next, concentrate on achieving emotional distance. Those who engage in gaslighting seek to elicit intense feelings, as it becomes simpler to control you when you’re feeling unsettled. Staying composed and choosing not to engage in disputes over twisted “facts” takes away the manipulator’s power. Responses like “I see that differently” or “We remember this differently” or “We have to agree to disagree” validate your perspective while keeping the conversation calm.

Reconstructing support systems is extremely important. Being cut off from others is a frequent aspect of manipulation tactics. Engage in conversations with reliable friends, family, or a therapist who can offer a fresh viewpoint. Some individuals might affirm your experiences and help you recognise that your perceptions hold value. Finding external grounding can be essential during moments when you feel as though you are “losing your mind.”

Establishing boundaries is the key to a lasting solution. When gaslighting happens in a close relationship, it might be necessary to reduce or cut off contact to protect your mental health. In the workplace, maintaining written communication, minimising unnecessary face-to-face interactions, and addressing recurring problems with HR can serve as practical approaches. Keep in mind that boundaries are not forms of punishment. These are essential boundaries that safeguard your mental well-being.

Ultimately, prioritise building your confidence in yourself. Gaslighting erodes your self-assurance, making it essential to take steps to restore it. Engaging in daily affirmations, practicing mindfulness, and seeking therapy can all assist in re-establishing your connection with your inner world. Be mindful of the messages your body is sending you. If something seems off, it likely is. Rediscovering trust in your own perceptions serves as the most effective remedy against manipulation.

Confronting gaslighting can be challenging, yet healing is very possible. It might mean removing the “gaslighter” from your life for good.

Your Healing Journey Starts Here: Join Dr. Jenner’s Community!

Subscribe for weekly in-depth mental health insights, early access to Q&A sessions, and an exclusive discount on Dr. Jenner’s Codependency Recovery Program.

Join 2,665 other subscribers

Dr Nicholas Jenner

Dr. Nicholas Jenner, a therapist, coach, and speaker, has over 20 years of experience in the field of therapy and coaching. His specialty lies in treating codependency, a condition that is often characterized by a compulsive dependence on a partner, friend, or family member for emotional or psychological sustenance. Dr. Jenner's approach to treating codependency involves using Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, a treatment method that has gained widespread popularity in recent years. He identifies the underlying causes of codependent behavior by exploring his patients' internal "parts," or their different emotional states, to develop strategies to break free from it. Dr. Jenner has authored numerous works on the topic and offers online therapy services to assist individuals in developing healthy relationships and achieving emotional independence.