Join me on November 9th, for a brand new round of group therapy dedicated to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. This 4-session workshop is for you if you are stuck in a relationship with a narcissist or your narcissist has gone and you are still struggling with the aftermath. My goal is to support emotional healing, identity restoration, and the development of healthy relational tools in a group setting, with others going through the same thing. Each session is 90 minutes and includes psychoeducation, reflection, somatic practice, and take-home exercises.
We would be extremely lucky to go through our lives without some kind of change affecting our lives. Whether it is change brought on by issues out of our control or it was a decision we, ourselves made, the impact is often the same. It means facing fear and adjusting to a new situation. This can bring on anxiety, procrastination and avoidance.
Just why is it that we find change so difficult? We spend a lot of time making ourselves aware through self-help, therapy and reading. Many of us stop at that point and never take that next step, meaning that we spin our wheels making ourselves aware of what we should do but never doing it.
When we do reach the point of taking action, the need often hits us like a wave. Suddenly, everything is clear. Patterns, choices and relationships that might no longer fit. With this clarity, can come an urgency to act quickly, to change everything with one sweep of the brush. This is often very tempting to do but real change rarely works like this. Sustainable change is built up slowly, step by step and often against the headwind of resistance (inside and out).
Real change often comes with discomfort, which is why we avoid it. Old habits take time to disappear and the people around the change might feel unsettled. Yet, discomfort is usually a sign that things are moving in the right direction, not failing. It is important at this point to find some kind of grounding while other things feel uncertain. Journalling, walking or having a calming daily ritual would all help.
Going through change also means patience is needed. Progress is not linear and there will be setbacks. That is the normal rhythm of growth. This is where you can benefit from an accountability partner, a friend or family member who understands that support is needed. This will keep goals on track and ensure that the journey is not a lonely one.
It can also help to keep track of your progress in writing. On days when you doubt yourself, you’ll have evidence that change is happening. And as you continue, you’ll likely notice a mixture of grief and hope. You may feel sadness for what you’re leaving behind, even if it wasn’t healthy, while also feeling the pull of a new, more authentic life. Accept both as natural companions on the path forward. Above all, treat yourself with compassion. You didn’t know before what you know now, and the fact that you are aware today means you are ready for the next step.
