Discover "Therapy Shorts," a collection of quick insights and gentle nudges to help you along your healing journey. This week is about Stages of a Relationship. These posts, published twice per week with a short audio, provide bite-sized wisdom to help you grow and discover yourself. Join me as we investigate the small ways we can bring peace, clarity, and connection into our lives.
Welcome to "Therapy Shorts," a collection of quick insights and gentle nudges to help you along your healing journey. These posts, published twice per week with audio, provide bite-sized wisdom to help you grow and discover yourself. Join me as we investigate the small ways we can bring peace, clarity, and connection into our lives.
Because their sense of identity, worth, and safety has been shaped around the emotional needs and behaviours of others, codependents frequently experience an intense need for other people. The onset of this condition typically occurs during childhood, particularly in households where emotional neglect, addiction, mental illness, or inconsistent caregiving were present.
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
The final recognised stage is considered to be the “mature love” stage, where theoretically we have got to know everything we need to about our partner and have chosen them for the long term. It should be a time when there are no surprises, life is settled, the couple have gone through ups and downs, career building and children. They should, theoretically, be in tune with each other and the plans on the table. Yet, in my experience of working with couples for many years, it can be a dangerous time for a relationship.
Narcissists are very choosy. They choose their victims carefully and their choice is usually based on such things as status, wealth, influence or ability. The victims are usually attractive and popular. The more of this the victim has, the greater the value of the supply for the narcissist.
Despite so many people identifying with the symptoms, there are still some who doubt its existence or hold derogatory views against anyone claiming to be codependent. This includes virtually all of the medical profession and indeed, some therapists.
Cozolino conveys a profound sense of optimism about the potential for transformation and healing through neuroplasticity.
Codependency isn’t a flaw—it’s a survival response wired deep in your nervous system. Based on Louis Cozolino’s neuroscience research, this post unpacks how early relationships shape your patterns—and how to finally rewire them for love that feels safe, mutual, and real. Healing is possible—and it starts within.
I wanted to send a clear message: That codependents aren’t sick. They don’t need pills or diagnosing. I wanted to make it very clear that recovery is very much in the hands of the codependent and that recovery starts and finishes with the codependent. Codependency is behavioural and learned from the environment we grew up in and it can be unlearnt. The only recovery from codependency is to find and maintain the individual within.
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