Podcast Episode 11 – How to Begin Parts Work for Codependency

In the course of a day, many of us may think, for example “a part of me wants to do this and yet, at the same time, another part of me wants just the opposite”. Sometimes, this is felt as an inner conflict or “stuckness”. Usually, we simply notice this conflict and override one of the arguments. In a healthy personality, there is a fluid shifting from one part to another depending on what approach is needed, what is appropriate, or what is necessary under the particular circumstances.

When it comes to codependency, parts that like to manage relationships and protect child-like exiles are very prominent. Children who develop codependency later in life have been conditioned to believe they are not good enough because the connection with their caregivers was non-existent, abusive, or strained. They learn they must caregive, sacrifice, adapt, or do more than they need to be validated or loved. This pushes their healthy parts in a protective role so they don’t face trauma.

In parts work, codependency is seen as a pattern of behavior that emerges from the internal dynamics of a person’s internal family system. Parts work suggests that codependency often arises from the interactions between different parts within an individual. These parts can contribute to codependent tendencies in various ways.