Therapy Shorts 85: Those Who Say Can’t Usually Mean Won’t
How many times have you heard someone say “I can’t change”? If you are like me, you have heard it many times. In most cases, what is really being said is “I won’t change”…
Therapy Shorts 82: Want A New Start? Clear Out The Dead Wood First
Change is never easy but we face it every day. For some it is a terrifying experience, for others an opportunity. We all, see it, feel it and deal with in in different ways. How we see it, feel it and deal with it will generally determine how difficult it will be...
Codependency: Why Red Flags Give Us All The Information We Need
In my daily work with codependents, I hear a lot about so-called "red-flags". Usually this comes when clients are describing the early stages of a relationship they were or are in...
Getting Away From The Apps and Meeting People in “Real Life”
That's the problem with dating apps: you see some great photos and pretend to yourself that they can genuinely have a conversation that isn't about them. If this profile had approached this lady in the typical manner, weeks of texting would not have been wasted. There would have been a quick dialogue and then it would have been over. I see this every day in practice, frustration at meeting the next "loser" and the feeling that it will never work.
What Are You Prepared To Do For Your Relationship?
Let’s be honest, when it comes to relationships, we often try it and we often get it wrong and most of us have no idea why. We think we do but we are generally clueless...
Just Do It? Sometimes It Works!
We all do it. We convince ourselves that filing our tax return or planning that career move can wait until tomorrow or next week or next month. We bury our heads in the sand waiting for the right time, knowing that the right time is usually right now. We beat ourselves up because of it knowing that the only person who can change it is us...
Become A Compassionate Witness To Your Past
As part of the 7 Day Challenge, I wrote about polarised thinking and how the battle for control of the various "parts" of our personality can lead us to such extremes as being stuck, procrastination, people pleasing and addiction...
What Our Inner Voices Tell Us… The Bad News Is… We Believe Them!
When we allow our thinking patterns to "protect" us , we often feel there is no escape, no matter how hard we try. These thinking traps are exactly that, thinking and behaviour that are ingrained and seemingly impossible to shift...
7 Reasons Why Your Relationship Is Not Working
Nothing is perfect and that goes for relationships too. Even in the best of intimate relationships...
With Narcissists, Action Always Speaks Louder Than Words
When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don't always set boundaries or recognise so-called 'red flags'. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it...
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