love Archives - THE ONLINE THERAPIST

Therapy Shorts 97: Why You Obsess About Your Partner’s Past.

We all have a past. When two people come together and try to form a relationship, the experiences gained by both play a role. How much of a role depends greatly on the people concerned...

From the Archives: Codependents: It’s Ok Not To Forgive Your Toxic Parents

The headline is perhaps a confusing one to anyone who has experienced trauma and abuse in their life. The helping professions are full of practitioners who deal in the art of forgiveness...

Therapy Shorts 89: Discipline And Responsibility Are The Keys To Happiness

About two years ago, I wrote a rather philosophical post pontificating about What Do We Need to Make us Happy? As I generally do, I placed this article on various websites for people to read and comment...

Therapy Shorts 82: Want A New Start? Clear Out The Dead Wood First

Change is never easy but we face it every day. For some it is a terrifying experience, for others an opportunity. We all, see it, feel it and deal with in in different ways. How we see it, feel it and deal with it will generally determine how difficult it will be...

Nostalgia And Connecting With My Inner Self

I have recently been very nostalgic about the Seventies. Not with any great fondness but it was a very significant time for me. In this decade, I went from being 8 to 18 and my near adult self was formed...

A Successful Relationship Looks Like This

While recently browsing a national UK newspaper, I came across an article concerning a comment made by Barack Obama concerning the questions you might ask yourself about a potential partner...

Underestimate The Small Issues In A Relationship At Your Peril

A good marriage with someone we truly love is generally the fairytale that is sold to us by society, sometimes parents and definitely religion...

Become A Compassionate Witness To Your Past

As part of the 7 Day Challenge, I wrote about polarised thinking and how the battle for control of the various "parts" of our personality can lead us to such extremes as being stuck, procrastination, people pleasing and addiction...

Increase Your Self Worth, Step 5: Self Assertiveness, Honesty And Purpose

Once you have done the hard work to bring in self awareness, self acceptance, self discipline and self responsibility into your life, the next issue is how do we maintain that? How do we create a framework that will move us consistently...

Increase Your Self-Worth, Step 3: Conscious Thinking And Staying Present In The Moment

Much of our thinking, up to 95%, is on a subconscious level. It helps us navigate the world in form of habit, automatic thinking, processed memories and how those fit into our paradigm ...