SELF-HELP Archives - Page 3 of 39 - THE ONLINE THERAPIST

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Therapy Shorts 93: What a Healthy Relationship Looks Like: Spoiler: It’s Boring!

Healthy love is rarely dramatic. This article explores why emotionally healthy relationships can initially feel unfamiliar to people shaped by codependency, anxious attachment, or conditional love. It examines the difference between emotional intensity and genuine intimacy, and why calm, consistent relationships often feel uncomfortable before they begin to feel safe.

Why Understanding Yourself Is Not Enough

Explore the Dr Nicholas Jenner Audio Programme , a deep therapeutic recovery course for codependency, narcissistic relationships, emotional exhaustion and attachment wounds. Includes lifetime access to all audio sessions, practical therapeutic insight and two free therapy or coaching sessions. Designed for lasting emotional change rather than temporary motivation.

From the Archives: Codependents: It’s Ok Not To Forgive Your Toxic Parents

The headline is perhaps a confusing one to anyone who has experienced trauma and abuse in their life. The helping professions are full of practitioners who deal in the art of forgiveness...

Therapy Shorts 91: After A Narcissist… What Next?

So, you have done the hard part. The narcissist is thankfully gone. It matters little whether discard happened or the courage was finally found to get rid of them, the…

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Therapy Shorts 90: Not Every Difficult Ex Is a Narcissist. Sometimes You Were Just Addicted to Chaos

This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.

Therapy Shorts 89: Discipline And Responsibility Are The Keys To Happiness

About two years ago, I wrote a rather philosophical post pontificating about What Do We Need to Make us Happy? As I generally do, I placed this article on various websites for people to read and comment...

A sparrow breaks free from a chain as the sun sets over a mountainous coastline.

Therapy Shorts 88: Why Leaving a Narcissist Can Feel Like Betrayal

This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.

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Healthy vs Pathological Narcissism: What You Need to Know

Healthy narcissism is a grounded sense of self-worth that supports confidence, resilience, empathy and healthy boundaries. It is very different from pathological narcissism, which is defensive and damaging. This article explains why healthy narcissism matters, how it develops, and why it is essential for emotional health and relationships.

Therapy Shorts 84: Why You Keep Falling For The Wrong People

Why are codependents drawn to emotionally unavailable and inconsistent partners? This article explores how childhood conditioning, low self-worth and nervous system activation shape attraction, causing healthy love to feel unfamiliar. Learn why codependents mistake drama for connection and how recovery begins by judging behaviour, not chemistry.

The Power of Journalling and Why So Many People Struggle With It

Journaling is a practical tool for emotional clarity, self-awareness and pattern recognition. This article explores why journaling can support psychological wellbeing, why many people resist it, and how difficulty with journaling often reflects deeper struggles with honesty, emotional expression, perfectionism and self-connection rather than a lack of discipline.