Choosing aloneness can be a deliberate and impactful approach to life. The objective is not to withdraw from the world in bitterness, but rather to embrace a life of quiet depth and self-connection. As I said in Therapy Shorts 7, when aloneness is freely chosen, it can serve as a refuge for peace, creativity, and clarity. The key is to intentionally cultivate it and fill your days with activities that nourish both your body and soul. This can also be practiced in a relationship.
Many people will go straight for instant gratification when alone and feeling the craving for company. This will lead to constant scrolling or other escapes. They do this because it’s easier than doing anything else and it fills a gap. I often talk to clients in these cases of making sure they are conscious and reminding themselves that a different choice can be made. So let’s look at things that could be done. Put your phone away, turn off the TV and be curious.
The first that could be considered is to feed one’s intellect. This is one of the most rewarding activities that one can engage in when alone. This means gaining a sense of purpose through reading, gaining new skills or studying. Without distractions, this becomes much easier. This is where curiosity can really play a role by putting you outside your comfort zone.
Additionally, creativity often thrives when you embrace aloneness. Express your inner world through creative activities such as writing, painting, music, gardening or whatever lights up your curiosity. These are not just hobbies but methods of self discovery.
It is vitally important not to just think about the mind but also the body. Fitness is not just gym based exercise. It can become a means of self-care and rejuvenation, especially when combined with walks in nature and practices such as yoga. One can extend this with rituals around inner peace such as breath work, meditation and journalling. Journalling especially helps to monitor personal development and process emotions.
The richness of life does not diminish when you practice aloneness and it can be done in a relationship too. You are not avoiding life but bringing a sense of inner strength to it.
