Helping you understand the patterns that keep you stuck and create meaningful change.
Welcome to The Online Therapist
I’m Dr Nicholas Jenner, a counselling psychotherapist specialising in relationships, codependency, emotional patterns and personal change.
Through therapy, coaching, group programmes and self-help resources, my aim is to help people move from understanding their patterns towards creating meaningful change.
When does helping become controlling? Explore how codependency, rescuing, over-functioning, attachment and nervous-system patterns can blur the line between support and control.
Chat with Dr. Jenner Now!
When does helping become controlling? Explore how codependency, rescuing, over-functioning, attachment and nervous-system patterns can blur the line between support and control.
Can self-awareness become another form of avoidance? Dr Nicholas Jenner explores why understanding your psychological patterns is only useful when insight begins influencing real decisions and behaviour.
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Explore how codependency develops through attachment, nervous-system responses and learned relationship patterns, and why awareness alone does not create change. Dr Nicholas Jenner connects his A Further Inquiry interview with his upcoming Codependency: Awareness to Action groups, helping participants move from insight towards boundaries, self-regulation, self-trust and lasting behavioural change.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
Understanding your patterns does not automatically change them. This article explores the difficult journey from awareness to action, looking at codependency, the nervous system, Internal Family Systems and behavioural change, and how practising different responses while tolerating discomfort can gradually turn psychological insight into meaningful and lasting change.
Why do we keep repeating the same relationship patterns despite choosing different partners? This article explores how childhood experiences, emotional familiarity, and unconscious expectations shape our attractions and choices. Discover why familiar relationships often feel right, how patterns develop, and what it takes to create healthier, lasting connections.
We all have times when everything gets too much. There are many issues to face, things to do, plan and action to be taken. Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed, paralysed and wonder how we will get through…
Many adult relationship struggles have their roots in childhood, not romance. This article explores how unresolved relationships with parents, siblings, and caregivers shape attachment, codependency, boundaries, and self-worth. Discover why familiar patterns repeat in adult relationships and how understanding your emotional blueprint can support lasting change.
Many people believe they are grieving a relationship when, in reality, they are mourning the future they imagined. This article explores why we become attached to potential rather than reality, how fantasy shapes emotional pain, and why recognising the difference can be the first step towards genuine healing and healthier relationships.
We all do it. Something happens, we find ourselves in a situation where an assumption jumps up…
Many people lose themselves in relationships without realising it. This article explores the concept of the false self, how codependency and self-abandonment develop, and why authenticity is essential for healthy relationships. Learn how reconnecting with your true self can improve self-esteem, boundaries, emotional wellbeing, and intimacy.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma…
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma…
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma…
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma…
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma…
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
Codependency recovery is deeply personal, but it doesn’t have to be done alone. In fact, group therapy has the potential to transform the healing journey in profound ways. While individual therapy offers valuable insight, something truly powerful happens when people come together with shared experiences and open hearts.
ue to their lack of self-esteem and the inability to self-care, codependents become enmeshed with others easily. They work on the idea that all the while they are like this…
Codependents show and exhibit many common symptoms. One of these and one that I see often with clients is hyper-vigilance, not in the sense of
Why do some men turn to porn instead of leaving unhappy relationships? This article explains how codependency can drive secrecy, avoidance, and nervous-system coping, while narcissistic traits are more linked to entitlement and control. Learn how to spot the difference and use a reflection exercise to gain clarity.
Starting the process is easier than you may think. All you need to do is contact me by mail or telephone and arrange the first consultation. This is free and will allow you to present your issues.
Join Dr Jenner and a small group of other participants in a series of totally private six 90-minute online group therapy sessions.
Join me for an audio program dedicated to addressing codependency issues and recovery, offering practical guidance and insights to enrich your journey towards well-being and recovery.
Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
