Helping you understand the patterns that keep you stuck and create meaningful change.
Welcome to The Online Therapist
I’m Dr Nicholas Jenner, a counselling psychotherapist specialising in relationships, codependency, emotional patterns and personal change.
Through therapy, coaching, group programmes and self-help resources, my aim is to help people move from understanding their patterns towards creating meaningful change.
Dr Nicholas Jenner explores how couples can decide which differences they can live with, how codependency can affect who gives way, and how to talk honestly about major decisions such as moving abroad or having children.
Chat with Dr. Jenner Now!
Dr Nicholas Jenner explores how couples can decide which differences they can live with, how codependency can affect who gives way, and how to talk honestly about major decisions such as moving abroad or having children.
When children experience affection and approval after success, they may begin to link achievement with personal worth. This Therapy Short explores parental conditional regard, perfectionism and the fear of disappointing others. It explains how parents can encourage effort and responsibility while ensuring their children feel valued when things go wrong.
How can you tell when your relationship is in trouble? Dr Nicholas Jenner draws on his experience as a therapist and relationship coach to explain seven recurring patterns, from emotional distance and fading affection to power struggles, contempt and jealousy. He offers practical ways to talk about what’s happening and begin rebuilding closeness and trust.
When your thoughts are going round in circles, a few minutes with nature can offer a change of focus. Dr Nicholas Jenner reflects on walking, gardening and paying attention to the seasons, and suggests ways to make space for nature in everyday life, even when green space is hard to reach.
Why do adult children go no contact with their parents? Explore the reasons behind family estrangement, including emotional neglect, unresolved conflict and differing family expectations. Discover why parents and children remember relationships differently, when cutting contact may be necessary, and whether damaged parent-child relationships can ever be repaired through understanding.
What does a coach in your pocket actually do? Explore how Awareness to Action helps you prepare a boundary, work through overwhelm and turn reflection into a manageable action, then review what happened. Available on iPhone and Android.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
Explore how codependency develops through attachment, nervous-system responses and learned relationship patterns, and why awareness alone does not create change. Dr Nicholas Jenner connects his A Further Inquiry interview with his upcoming Codependency: Awareness to Action groups, helping participants move from insight towards boundaries, self-regulation, self-trust and lasting behavioural change.
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Can self-awareness become another form of avoidance? Dr Nicholas Jenner explores why understanding your psychological patterns is only useful when insight begins influencing real decisions and behaviour.
When does helping become controlling? Explore how codependency, rescuing, over-functioning, attachment and nervous-system patterns can blur the line between support and control.
How long should you wait for a partner to change? This article explores when patience becomes avoidance, why promises are different from sustained behavioural change, and how people can become attached to potential rather than evidence. Awareness matters, but healthier relationships eventually require action, boundaries and consistent responsibility from both partners.
Why do narcissists and codependents often form relationships? Explore how these patterns complement each other and how awareness can lead to change.
I run a feature on my blog titled Ask Me A Question. It is there so anyone can pose a question concerning their situation, disorder, relationship or anything else that they want some advice on…
The messages we get from our parents as we grow up determine the way we see the world as an adult. If all things go well, we grow up to be independent with a secure attachment to the family base. However, when dysfunction happens, we become locked in a cycle of codependency…
In my job, I deal daily with lots of angry people. There are those who are angry about something specific (and sometimes have a right to be) and those who are just angry…
My last two posts, I have looked at very dysfunctional voices in our heads and how easy it is to follow them. They offer quick-fix solutions that have no substance at all…
Discover “Therapy Shorts,” a collection of quick insights and gentle nudges to help you along your healing journey.
This week is about Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse
These posts, published twice per week with a short audio, provide bite-sized wisdom to help you grow and discover yourself. Join me as we investigate the small ways we can bring peace, clarity, and connection into our lives.
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies. The advice is clear: get away from the situation as quickly as possible…
I have lost count of the amount of times I have been asked by desperate clients why they cannot let go of an abuser and a narcissist. It seems that they have been injected by some form of drug that has formed an addiction and no amount of logic, common sense or realism will help them…
Can you imagine being locked away with another person for a number of years, isolated from the outside world and seemingly helpless to escape?…
Many codependents that I deal with like to talk about narcissism because it generally plays a big role in their lives. As people who will
Why do narcissists and codependents often form relationships? Explore how these patterns complement each other and how awareness can lead to change.
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
What exactly is a boundary, when it comes to relationships? Simply put, a boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends…
ue to their lack of self-esteem and the inability to self-care, codependents become enmeshed with others easily. They work on the idea that all the while they are like this…
The human experience is shaped by connection, and few events test us more than the end of a relationship. A breakup is rarely just the loss of a partner, it often feels like the loss of part of ourselves. We grieve the routines we shared, the future we imagined, and the security that came with being attached.
A clinical exploration of narcissistic and codependent relationships, how both stem from attachment wounds, and what healing through self-leadership requires.
You are swept away in a tide of emotional abandon with a seemingly like-minded person who only has your interests at heart. You fall in love fully and completely, you drop your boundaries and do not listen to your instincts that might hold some warning signs…
Learn how to navigate a relationship with a narcissist and prioritize your mental health. Discover ways to exit toxic dynamics for good.
Anyone who has been through a break-up will testify to the feelings that surround it. Let’s face it, no-one likes being left and in reality, also ending a relationship is not easy. Invariably,…
Codependency recovery is deeply personal, but it doesn’t have to be done alone. In fact, group therapy has the potential to transform the healing journey in profound ways. While individual therapy offers valuable insight, something truly powerful happens when people come together with shared experiences and open hearts.
Healthy narcissism is a grounded sense of self-worth that supports confidence, resilience, empathy and healthy boundaries. It is very different from pathological narcissism, which is defensive and damaging. This article explains why healthy narcissism matters, how it develops, and why it is essential for emotional health and relationships.
ust recently, infidelity in marriages has been a big topic with some of my clients. It has happened and they are struggling with the aftermath of it. Some have separated, some have separated to try to see if there can be a basis for renewal of the relationship…
My last two posts, I have looked at very dysfunctional voices in our heads and how easy it is to follow them. They offer quick-fix solutions that have no substance at all…
ue to their lack of self-esteem and the inability to self-care, codependents become enmeshed with others easily. They work on the idea that all the while they are like this…
There are many programs that one can subscribe to in order to recover from a codependent life. All of them offer something different from different angles and theories…
While doing inner child work with clients, I often run them through a guided visualisation where they meet and greet a younger version of themselves…
It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol…
Narcissists are very choosy. They choose their victims carefully and their choice is usually based on such things as status, wealth, influence or ability. The victims are usually attractive and popular. The more of this the victim has, the greater the value of the supply for the narcissist.
What exactly is a boundary, when it comes to relationships? Simply put, a boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends…
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
Anyone who has been through a break-up will testify to the feelings that surround it. Let’s face it, no-one likes being left and in reality, also ending a relationship is not easy. Invariably,…
Starting the process is easier than you may think. All you need to do is contact me by mail or telephone and arrange the first consultation. This is free and will allow you to present your issues.
Join Dr Jenner and a small group of other participants in a series of totally private six 90-minute online group therapy sessions.
Join me for an audio program dedicated to addressing codependency issues and recovery, offering practical guidance and insights to enrich your journey towards well-being and recovery.
Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
