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We all do it. Something happens, we find ourselves in a situation where an assumption jumps up…
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We all do it. Something happens, we find ourselves in a situation where an assumption jumps up…
Many people believe they are grieving a relationship when, in reality, they are mourning the future they imagined. This article explores why we become attached to potential rather than reality, how fantasy shapes emotional pain, and why recognising the difference can be the first step towards genuine healing and healthier relationships.
While recently browsing a national UK newspaper, I came across an article concerning a comment made by Barack Obama concerning the questions you might ask yourself about a potential partner…
Many adult relationship struggles have their roots in childhood, not romance. This article explores how unresolved relationships with parents, siblings, and caregivers shape attachment, codependency, boundaries, and self-worth. Discover why familiar patterns repeat in adult relationships and how understanding your emotional blueprint can support lasting change.
We all have times when everything gets too much. There are many issues to face, things to do, plan and action to be taken. Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed, paralysed and wonder how we will get through…
Why do we keep repeating the same relationship patterns despite choosing different partners? This article explores how childhood experiences, emotional familiarity, and unconscious expectations shape our attractions and choices. Discover why familiar relationships often feel right, how patterns develop, and what it takes to create healthier, lasting connections.
How many times have you heard someone say “I can’t change”? If you are like me, you have heard it many times. In most cases, what is really being said is “I won’t change”…
Healthy narcissism is a grounded sense of self-worth that supports confidence, resilience, empathy and healthy boundaries. It is very different from pathological narcissism, which is defensive and damaging. This article explains why healthy narcissism matters, how it develops, and why it is essential for emotional health and relationships.
Why does codependency recovery feel so guilty? This article explores the difference between guilt and shame, the hidden role of toxic responsibility, and why setting healthy boundaries can feel morally wrong. Learn how over-responsibility becomes identity, why resentment builds, and how real recovery begins by carrying less without caring less.
Feeling guilty after setting a boundary is common in codependency. This article explains why guilt often appears when you stop over-functioning, how to tell conscience from conditioning, and how to stay steady without apologising or collapsing. Learn a calmer way to hold boundaries and rebuild self-leadership.
Codependency does not always look needy or dependent. In high-functioning people, it often appears as competence, over-responsibility and being the one who holds everything together. This article explores how success can hide emotional over-functioning, self-abandonment and exhaustion, and why recovery means separating self-worth from being endlessly useful.
We all have a past. When two people come together and try to form a relationship, the experiences gained by both play a role. How much of a role depends greatly on the people concerned…
When divorce and separation happen and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned…
Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem…
Just recently, I noticed that there were an incredible amount of views on a post I wrote last year. Someone on social media had read
Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…
Codependents show and exhibit many common symptoms. One of these and one that I see often with clients is hyper-vigilance, not in the sense of
When divorce and separation happen and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned…
Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem…
Just recently, I noticed that there were an incredible amount of views on a post I wrote last year. Someone on social media had read
Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…
Codependents show and exhibit many common symptoms. One of these and one that I see often with clients is hyper-vigilance, not in the sense of
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
When divorce and separation happen and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned…
Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem…
Just recently, I noticed that there were an incredible amount of views on a post I wrote last year. Someone on social media had read
Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…
Codependents show and exhibit many common symptoms. One of these and one that I see often with clients is hyper-vigilance, not in the sense of
When divorce and separation happen and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned…
Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem…
Just recently, I noticed that there were an incredible amount of views on a post I wrote last year. Someone on social media had read
Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…
Codependents show and exhibit many common symptoms. One of these and one that I see often with clients is hyper-vigilance, not in the sense of
When divorce and separation happen and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned…
Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem…
Just recently, I noticed that there were an incredible amount of views on a post I wrote last year. Someone on social media had read
Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…
Codependents show and exhibit many common symptoms. One of these and one that I see often with clients is hyper-vigilance, not in the sense of
When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue…
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
What next when your worst nightmare is over? Many codependents who manage to extract themselves from toxic or narcissistic relationships are often left with this question…
Narcissists always get a bad press and probably rightly so. (At this point, we should note that we should only use the term narcissist when someone has been officially diagnosed with NPD…
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