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Some relationships feel strongest during crisis because one partner becomes the rescuer and the other remains dependent. This article explores how recovery, confidence and independence can unsettle that balance, revealing whether love can survive without fixed roles of carer and cared-for, and whether equality can replace emotional dependency safely.
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Some relationships feel strongest during crisis because one partner becomes the rescuer and the other remains dependent. This article explores how recovery, confidence and independence can unsettle that balance, revealing whether love can survive without fixed roles of carer and cared-for, and whether equality can replace emotional dependency safely.
Explore the complexities of relationships entering 2026, covering love, compatibility, and the importance of personal identity.
Many people believe that couples who never argue have the healthiest relationships. This article explores why the absence of conflict is not always a sign of emotional wellbeing, revealing how silence, avoidance and self-abandonment can replace honest communication, and why psychological safety matters more than perfect harmony.
We all do it. Something happens, we find ourselves in a situation where an assumption jumps up…
Many people believe they are grieving a relationship when, in reality, they are mourning the future they imagined. This article explores why we become attached to potential rather than reality, how fantasy shapes emotional pain, and why recognising the difference can be the first step towards genuine healing and healthier relationships.
While recently browsing a national UK newspaper, I came across an article concerning a comment made by Barack Obama concerning the questions you might ask yourself about a potential partner…
Feeling guilty after setting a boundary is common in codependency. This article explains why guilt often appears when you stop over-functioning, how to tell conscience from conditioning, and how to stay steady without apologising or collapsing. Learn a calmer way to hold boundaries and rebuild self-leadership.
Codependency does not always look needy or dependent. In high-functioning people, it often appears as competence, over-responsibility and being the one who holds everything together. This article explores how success can hide emotional over-functioning, self-abandonment and exhaustion, and why recovery means separating self-worth from being endlessly useful.
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
About two years ago, I wrote a rather philosophical post pontificating about What Do We Need to Make us Happy? As I generally do, I placed this article on various websites for people to read and comment…
This article explores the codependent fantasy that enough love, patience, and understanding will change another person. It examines how hope, self-abandonment, and early relational conditioning keep people attached to harmful relationships, and why recovery begins with seeing reality clearly rather than trying to rescue someone who will not change.
Many people lose themselves in relationships without realising it. This article explores the concept of the false self, how codependency and self-abandonment develop, and why authenticity is essential for healthy relationships. Learn how reconnecting with your true self can improve self-esteem, boundaries, emotional wellbeing, and intimacy.
Recovery from codependency is rarely the smooth, linear process that people imagine and is often portrayed in articles and websites. It is not about being endlessly stoic, calm, or becoming detached. It’s about telling the truth and not lying to yourself and others and maybe for the first time in your life.
While doing inner child work with clients, I often run them through a guided visualisation where they meet and greet a younger version of themselves…
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
I believe firmly that it is only a matter of time before codependency becomes a recognised disorder. As discussed many times by this author…
Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example…
Recovery from codependency is rarely the smooth, linear process that people imagine and is often portrayed in articles and websites. It is not about being endlessly stoic, calm, or becoming detached. It’s about telling the truth and not lying to yourself and others and maybe for the first time in your life.
While doing inner child work with clients, I often run them through a guided visualisation where they meet and greet a younger version of themselves…
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
I believe firmly that it is only a matter of time before codependency becomes a recognised disorder. As discussed many times by this author…
Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example…
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
Recovery from codependency is rarely the smooth, linear process that people imagine and is often portrayed in articles and websites. It is not about being endlessly stoic, calm, or becoming detached. It’s about telling the truth and not lying to yourself and others and maybe for the first time in your life.
While doing inner child work with clients, I often run them through a guided visualisation where they meet and greet a younger version of themselves…
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
I believe firmly that it is only a matter of time before codependency becomes a recognised disorder. As discussed many times by this author…
Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example…
Recovery from codependency is rarely the smooth, linear process that people imagine and is often portrayed in articles and websites. It is not about being endlessly stoic, calm, or becoming detached. It’s about telling the truth and not lying to yourself and others and maybe for the first time in your life.
While doing inner child work with clients, I often run them through a guided visualisation where they meet and greet a younger version of themselves…
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
I believe firmly that it is only a matter of time before codependency becomes a recognised disorder. As discussed many times by this author…
Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example…
Recovery from codependency is rarely the smooth, linear process that people imagine and is often portrayed in articles and websites. It is not about being endlessly stoic, calm, or becoming detached. It’s about telling the truth and not lying to yourself and others and maybe for the first time in your life.
While doing inner child work with clients, I often run them through a guided visualisation where they meet and greet a younger version of themselves…
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
I believe firmly that it is only a matter of time before codependency becomes a recognised disorder. As discussed many times by this author…
Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example…
Narcissists always get a bad press and probably rightly so. (At this point, we should note that we should only use the term narcissist when someone has been officially diagnosed with NPD…
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
ust recently, infidelity in marriages has been a big topic with some of my clients. It has happened and they are struggling with the aftermath of it. Some have separated, some have separated to try to see if there can be a basis for renewal of the relationship…
I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life…
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Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
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