Welcome to The Online Therapist, where you can explore articles, Therapy Shorts, podcast episodes and resources on codependency, boundaries, narcissistic abuse and more. Use the top menu to browse by theme, or choose Search to use the AI search tool: type a question and it will point you to relevant pages across the site. If you prefer structured guidance, visit Self Help to access the 13-week programme. Contact Dr Jenner directly via Contact or WhatsApp here.
Why do people remain in relationships that repeatedly hurt them? This article uses an IFS perspective to explore the protective parts behind codependent attachment, including fear, guilt, hope and responsibility. It explains why leaving can feel dangerous and how compassionate self-leadership can eventually support clearer, healthier and more authentic choices.
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Why do people remain in relationships that repeatedly hurt them? This article uses an IFS perspective to explore the protective parts behind codependent attachment, including fear, guilt, hope and responsibility. It explains why leaving can feel dangerous and how compassionate self-leadership can eventually support clearer, healthier and more authentic choices.
Many people fear the end of the honeymoon phase, believing it signals the end of love. This article explores why the transition is a natural part of healthy relationships, how emotional intimacy replaces early excitement, and why lasting love is built on trust, compatibility and choice rather than passion alone.
The honeymoon phase is often seen as the most exciting stage of a relationship, but it can also distort judgement and encourage premature decisions. This article explores the psychology behind early romantic love, why chemistry differs from compatibility, and how time—not intensity—reveals the true foundations of lasting relationships.
Emotional cheating can be difficult to define because no physical boundary may have been crossed. This article explores when friendship becomes betrayal, why secrecy matters, how emotional energy shifts outside a relationship, and the questions couples can ask when deciding whether trust has been broken and whether it can return.
Can two people ever truly know one another? This article explores the limits of understanding in relationships, revealing how assumptions, personal history and curiosity shape emotional connection. Learn why lasting relationships depend less on certainty and more on continual discovery, open communication and a willingness to keep learning together.
What is a relationship really for? This thought-provoking article explores the deeper purpose of intimate relationships, arguing that they are not simply sources of happiness but opportunities for self-awareness, emotional growth and personal development. Discover how relationships reveal who we are and who we can become.
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
Healthy love is rarely dramatic. This article explores why emotionally healthy relationships can initially feel unfamiliar to people shaped by codependency, anxious attachment, or conditional love. It examines the difference between emotional intensity and genuine intimacy, and why calm, consistent relationships often feel uncomfortable before they begin to feel safe.
Discover how codependency secretly thrives in the modern workplace. We explore the “Office Martyr” dynamic, where employees outsource their self-worth to feeling indispensable. Learn why setting healthy professional boundaries and practicing emotional honesty is crucial for true collaboration, overcoming resentment, and breaking free from the exhausting addiction of being needed.
Rediscovering life purpose after a toxic relationship is a profound healing journey for codependents. By shifting focus internally, establishing assertive boundaries, and building authentic self-intimacy, individuals can transition from survival to growth. Learn how to reconstruct meaning, heal the nervous system, and reclaim your identity today.
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
We convince ourselves that we are fine. We keep busy, distract ourselves, and on we go. Yet deep down, we know we are stuck, and all the escape in the world won’t change that. We are stuck in patterns, habits and stories we tell ourselves.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less…
As stated in my last post, there was a huge reaction last week to a post I wrote some time ago. It was actually the second time it had gained so much attention in the year since it was first published…
Narcissists are the archetypal Jekyll and Hyde characters, one way one moment, one way the next…
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less…
As stated in my last post, there was a huge reaction last week to a post I wrote some time ago. It was actually the second time it had gained so much attention in the year since it was first published…
Narcissists are the archetypal Jekyll and Hyde characters, one way one moment, one way the next…
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less…
As stated in my last post, there was a huge reaction last week to a post I wrote some time ago. It was actually the second time it had gained so much attention in the year since it was first published…
Narcissists are the archetypal Jekyll and Hyde characters, one way one moment, one way the next…
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less…
As stated in my last post, there was a huge reaction last week to a post I wrote some time ago. It was actually the second time it had gained so much attention in the year since it was first published…
Narcissists are the archetypal Jekyll and Hyde characters, one way one moment, one way the next…
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less…
As stated in my last post, there was a huge reaction last week to a post I wrote some time ago. It was actually the second time it had gained so much attention in the year since it was first published…
Narcissists are the archetypal Jekyll and Hyde characters, one way one moment, one way the next…
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
There is a fine line between meeting your own needs in a healthy sense and expecting to take everything around you…
What next when your worst nightmare is over? Many codependents who manage to extract themselves from toxic or narcissistic relationships are often left with this question…
Explore the complex aftermath of infidelity and codependency in relationships. Discover paths to healing and rebuilding trust effectively.
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