Helping you understand the patterns that keep you stuck and create meaningful change.
Welcome to The Online Therapist
I’m Dr Nicholas Jenner, a counselling psychotherapist specialising in relationships, codependency, emotional patterns and personal change.
Through therapy, coaching, group programmes and self-help resources, my aim is to help people move from understanding their patterns towards creating meaningful change.
What does a coach in your pocket actually do? Explore how Awareness to Action helps you prepare a boundary, work through overwhelm and turn reflection into a manageable action, then review what happened. Available on iPhone and Android.
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What does a coach in your pocket actually do? Explore how Awareness to Action helps you prepare a boundary, work through overwhelm and turn reflection into a manageable action, then review what happened. Available on iPhone and Android.
Why do you still feel responsible for your ex after separation? Discover how codependency, guilt, attachment patterns and emotional obligations can continue after a relationship ends. Learn why setting boundaries feels difficult, how to recognise unhealthy responsibilities and how to move forward without feeling responsible for your former partner’s happiness.
When couples stop arguing, it doesn’t always mean their relationship has improved. Sometimes, silence signals emotional withdrawal, resignation or relationship exhaustion. Explore why partners emotionally disconnect, how codependency and attachment patterns contribute, and whether a relationship can recover when one person has stopped trying to make things work.
Awareness to Action is now on iPhone and Android. Explore how describing a difficult decision, choosing a manageable action and reviewing the outcome can help reflection lead somewhere.
Awareness to Action is now available on the App Store and Google Play. See how the Boundary Room can help you prepare what to say, choose an action and review what happened.
How long should you wait for a partner to change? This article explores when patience becomes avoidance, why promises are different from sustained behavioural change, and how people can become attached to potential rather than evidence. Awareness matters, but healthier relationships eventually require action, boundaries and consistent responsibility from both partners.
Mindfulness helps us step out of past regrets and future worries by returning attention to the present moment. This article explores how mindful awareness can reduce stress, improve emotional wellbeing, support better sleep, strengthen conflict resolution, and help us make calmer, more conscious choices in relationships and everyday daily life.
Why do people remain in relationships that repeatedly hurt them? This article uses an IFS perspective to explore the protective parts behind codependent attachment, including fear, guilt, hope and responsibility. It explains why leaving can feel dangerous and how compassionate self-leadership can eventually support clearer, healthier and more authentic choices.
Many adults avoid conflict not
Why is it so difficult to let go of unhealthy relationships? This article explores how childhood attachment, the nervous system and emotional familiarity influence adult attraction. Discover why you may miss the feeling more than the person, and how understanding these patterns can support healthier, more secure relationships.
Why can independence feel frightening after years of codependent relationships? This article explores how attachment patterns, childhood experiences, the nervous system and protective parts can make healthy boundaries feel unsafe. It explains why anxiety can increase during recovery and how greater independence can gradually support healthier connection and personal freedom.
Why do some apologies fail to heal relationship wounds? This article explains the difference between saying sorry and making genuine repair. It explores accountability, defensiveness, emotional validation and consistent behavioural change, showing couples how trust can be rebuilt after conflict through understanding, honesty and actions that match their words again.
The internal life of a vulnerable narcissist is a battlefield of self-doubt and imagined superiority.
A clinical exploration of narcissistic and codependent relationships, how both stem from attachment wounds, and what healing through self-leadership requires.
It takes a lot to remove a narcissist from your life. Not only the fact that he is not all that willing for you to make that call but also the actions and thoughts of the people involved with them often make it difficult…
Why do narcissists and codependents often form relationships? Explore how these patterns complement each other and how awareness can lead to change.
Healthy narcissism is a grounded sense of self-worth that supports confidence, resilience, empathy and healthy boundaries. It is very different from pathological narcissism, which is defensive and damaging. This article explains why healthy narcissism matters, how it develops, and why it is essential for emotional health and relationships.
Continuing my post on moving on from a bad breakup, let’s look at steps 4 to 6…
Recovery from codependency is rarely the smooth, linear process that people imagine and is often portrayed in articles and websites. It is not about being endlessly stoic, calm, or becoming detached. It’s about telling the truth and not lying to yourself and others and maybe for the first time in your life.
People like me are always trying to make others see the value of setting healthy boundaries in the spirit of emotional honesty. That is expressing what you feel honestly and assertively when there is a feeling that a boundary needs to be set…
Being involved with a narcissist is like having a tornado blow its way through your life. Once it has died down, you are left with a mess…
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
Why do narcissists and codependents often form relationships? Explore how these patterns complement each other and how awareness can lead to change.
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
The messages we get from our parents as we grow up determine the way we see the world as an adult. If all things go well, we grow up to be independent with a secure attachment to the family base. However, when dysfunction happens, we become locked in a cycle of codependency…
There will be many people who come across this post who are stuck. Stuck in life generally but specifically in relationships that are abusive, dysfunctional and with people who care very little about them…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
There is an old native American legend concerning the “Two-Faced Monster”. Here it is:…
Narcissists always get a bad press and probably rightly so. (At this point, we should note that we should only use the term narcissist when someone has been officially diagnosed with NPD…
When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less…
Continuing my post on moving on from a bad breakup, let’s look at steps 4 to 6…
When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it…
I run a feature on my blog titled Ask Me A Question. It is there so anyone can pose a question concerning their situation, disorder, relationship or anything else that they want some advice on…
Codependency is a complex issue and many therapists doubt its existence. They might agree somewhat with the classic definition of codependency where an enabling partner helps an addict maintain…
If you had the chance to study the way a narcissist behaves in a relationship, you might recognise a distinct pattern. A three stage whirlwind of a relationship that will leave a victim emotionally…
Healthy narcissism is a grounded sense of self-worth that supports confidence, resilience, empathy and healthy boundaries. It is very different from pathological narcissism, which is defensive and damaging. This article explains why healthy narcissism matters, how it develops, and why it is essential for emotional health and relationships.
Something you may not know about my career is that I used to work a lot with corporate clients, especially banks and financial institutions…
Narcissists are the archetypal Jekyll and Hyde characters, one way one moment, one way the next…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
The time has finally come. Your friendly neighbourhood narcissist has decided to ship out and move on to his next victim. The disappointment, guilt and feelings of being abused hurt…
do you smack your children? If so, you could soon be punished by law if lobbyists in EU have their way. Let me pitch in. There is no excuse in this world that can justify assaulting a child in the name of discipline!…
When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue…
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies…
Starting the process is easier than you may think. All you need to do is contact me by mail or telephone and arrange the first consultation. This is free and will allow you to present your issues.
Join Dr Jenner and a small group of other participants in a series of totally private six 90-minute online group therapy sessions.
Join me for an audio program dedicated to addressing codependency issues and recovery, offering practical guidance and insights to enrich your journey towards well-being and recovery.
Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
