Helping you understand the patterns that keep you stuck and create meaningful change.
Welcome to The Online Therapist
I’m Dr Nicholas Jenner, a counselling psychotherapist specialising in relationships, codependency, emotional patterns and personal change.
Through therapy, coaching, group programmes and self-help resources, my aim is to help people move from understanding their patterns towards creating meaningful change.
When couples stop arguing, it doesn’t always mean their relationship has improved. Sometimes, silence signals emotional withdrawal, resignation or relationship exhaustion. Explore why partners emotionally disconnect, how codependency and attachment patterns contribute, and whether a relationship can recover when one person has stopped trying to make things work.
Chat with Dr. Jenner Now!
When couples stop arguing, it doesn’t always mean their relationship has improved. Sometimes, silence signals emotional withdrawal, resignation or relationship exhaustion. Explore why partners emotionally disconnect, how codependency and attachment patterns contribute, and whether a relationship can recover when one person has stopped trying to make things work.
Awareness to Action is now on iPhone and Android. Explore how describing a difficult decision, choosing a manageable action and reviewing the outcome can help reflection lead somewhere.
Awareness to Action is now available on the App Store and Google Play. See how the Boundary Room can help you prepare what to say, choose an action and review what happened.
How long should you wait for a partner to change? This article explores when patience becomes avoidance, why promises are different from sustained behavioural change, and how people can become attached to potential rather than evidence. Awareness matters, but healthier relationships eventually require action, boundaries and consistent responsibility from both partners.
Knowing something needs to change is not the same as knowing what to do next. Discover how Awareness to Action uses responsive coaching, private journalling and guided practices to help you choose a manageable action. Available now on iPhone and Android, with a seven-day trial for eligible new subscribers.
Awareness to Action is now available on iPhone. Discover responsive coaching tools, a private journal, guided meditations and music by Abøn, with a seven-day trial for eligible new subscribers.
Many people fear the end of the honeymoon phase, believing it signals the end of love. This article explores why the transition is a natural part of healthy relationships, how emotional intimacy replaces early excitement, and why lasting love is built on trust, compatibility and choice rather than passion alone.
The term “emotionally unavailable” often mislabels partners who differ in emotional expression. True emotional availability requires partners to engage with feelings, express needs, and navigate conflict. It’s vital to distinguish between emotional neglect and simply differing communication styles. Understanding can foster connection and compatibility in relationships, overcoming perceived barriers.
Why do people remain in relationships that repeatedly hurt them? This article uses an IFS perspective to explore the protective parts behind codependent attachment, including fear, guilt, hope and responsibility. It explains why leaving can feel dangerous and how compassionate self-leadership can eventually support clearer, healthier and more authentic choices.
Many adults avoid conflict not
Why is it so difficult to let go of unhealthy relationships? This article explores how childhood attachment, the nervous system and emotional familiarity influence adult attraction. Discover why you may miss the feeling more than the person, and how understanding these patterns can support healthier, more secure relationships.
Why can independence feel frightening after years of codependent relationships? This article explores how attachment patterns, childhood experiences, the nervous system and protective parts can make healthy boundaries feel unsafe. It explains why anxiety can increase during recovery and how greater independence can gradually support healthier connection and personal freedom.
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies…
Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships…
When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it…
Just recently, I have been doing a lot of inner child work with very interesting results. Touching the part of our emotional memory that has been locked away for years, can be a powerful, enlightening experience…
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies…
Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships…
When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it…
Just recently, I have been doing a lot of inner child work with very interesting results. Touching the part of our emotional memory that has been locked away for years, can be a powerful, enlightening experience…
Why do narcissists and codependents often form relationships? Explore how these patterns complement each other and how awareness can lead to change.
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies…
Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships…
When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it…
Just recently, I have been doing a lot of inner child work with very interesting results. Touching the part of our emotional memory that has been locked away for years, can be a powerful, enlightening experience…
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies…
Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships…
When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it…
Just recently, I have been doing a lot of inner child work with very interesting results. Touching the part of our emotional memory that has been locked away for years, can be a powerful, enlightening experience…
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies…
Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships…
When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it…
Just recently, I have been doing a lot of inner child work with very interesting results. Touching the part of our emotional memory that has been locked away for years, can be a powerful, enlightening experience…
Why do some men turn to porn instead of leaving unhappy relationships? This article explains how codependency can drive secrecy, avoidance, and nervous-system coping, while narcissistic traits are more linked to entitlement and control. Learn how to spot the difference and use a reflection exercise to gain clarity.
Codependents love to give. It is what they do, continually. As I have mentioned in previous posts, this giving comes with an element of return…
What exactly is a boundary, when it comes to relationships? Simply put, a boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends…
The human experience is shaped by connection, and few events test us more than the end of a relationship. A breakup is rarely just the loss of a partner, it often feels like the loss of part of ourselves. We grieve the routines we shared, the future we imagined, and the security that came with being attached.
Starting the process is easier than you may think. All you need to do is contact me by mail or telephone and arrange the first consultation. This is free and will allow you to present your issues.
Join Dr Jenner and a small group of other participants in a series of totally private six 90-minute online group therapy sessions.
Join me for an audio program dedicated to addressing codependency issues and recovery, offering practical guidance and insights to enrich your journey towards well-being and recovery.
Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
