Helping you understand the patterns that keep you stuck and create meaningful change.
Welcome to The Online Therapist
I’m Dr Nicholas Jenner, a counselling psychotherapist specialising in relationships, codependency, emotional patterns and personal change.
Through therapy, coaching, group programmes and self-help resources, my aim is to help people move from understanding their patterns towards creating meaningful change.
What does a coach in your pocket actually do? Explore how Awareness to Action helps you prepare a boundary, work through overwhelm and turn reflection into a manageable action, then review what happened. Available on iPhone and Android.
Chat with Dr. Jenner Now!
What does a coach in your pocket actually do? Explore how Awareness to Action helps you prepare a boundary, work through overwhelm and turn reflection into a manageable action, then review what happened. Available on iPhone and Android.
Why do you still feel responsible for your ex after separation? Discover how codependency, guilt, attachment patterns and emotional obligations can continue after a relationship ends. Learn why setting boundaries feels difficult, how to recognise unhealthy responsibilities and how to move forward without feeling responsible for your former partner’s happiness.
When couples stop arguing, it doesn’t always mean their relationship has improved. Sometimes, silence signals emotional withdrawal, resignation or relationship exhaustion. Explore why partners emotionally disconnect, how codependency and attachment patterns contribute, and whether a relationship can recover when one person has stopped trying to make things work.
Awareness to Action is now on iPhone and Android. Explore how describing a difficult decision, choosing a manageable action and reviewing the outcome can help reflection lead somewhere.
Awareness to Action is now available on the App Store and Google Play. See how the Boundary Room can help you prepare what to say, choose an action and review what happened.
How long should you wait for a partner to change? This article explores when patience becomes avoidance, why promises are different from sustained behavioural change, and how people can become attached to potential rather than evidence. Awareness matters, but healthier relationships eventually require action, boundaries and consistent responsibility from both partners.
Mindfulness helps us step out of past regrets and future worries by returning attention to the present moment. This article explores how mindful awareness can reduce stress, improve emotional wellbeing, support better sleep, strengthen conflict resolution, and help us make calmer, more conscious choices in relationships and everyday daily life.
Understanding your patterns does not automatically change them. This article explores the difficult journey from awareness to action, looking at codependency, the nervous system, Internal Family Systems and behavioural change, and how practising different responses while tolerating discomfort can gradually turn psychological insight into meaningful and lasting change.
Many adults avoid conflict not
Why is it so difficult to let go of unhealthy relationships? This article explores how childhood attachment, the nervous system and emotional familiarity influence adult attraction. Discover why you may miss the feeling more than the person, and how understanding these patterns can support healthier, more secure relationships.
Why can independence feel frightening after years of codependent relationships? This article explores how attachment patterns, childhood experiences, the nervous system and protective parts can make healthy boundaries feel unsafe. It explains why anxiety can increase during recovery and how greater independence can gradually support healthier connection and personal freedom.
Why do some apologies fail to heal relationship wounds? This article explains the difference between saying sorry and making genuine repair. It explores accountability, defensiveness, emotional validation and consistent behavioural change, showing couples how trust can be rebuilt after conflict through understanding, honesty and actions that match their words again.
Recovery from codependency is rarely the smooth, linear process that people imagine and is often portrayed in articles and websites. It is not about being endlessly stoic, calm, or becoming detached. It’s about telling the truth and not lying to yourself and others and maybe for the first time in your life.
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
I believe firmly that it is only a matter of time before codependency becomes a recognised disorder. As discussed many times by this author…
As a therapist and a person who deals in reality and common sense in my own life, it is hard to see some of the decisions that other people make in the name of love and devotion…
Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it…
There are many programs that one can subscribe to in order to recover from a codependent life. All of them offer something different from different angles and theories…
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies…
My last two posts, I have looked at very dysfunctional voices in our heads and how easy it is to follow them. They offer quick-fix solutions that have no substance at all…
Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example…
Why do narcissists and codependents often form relationships? Explore how these patterns complement each other and how awareness can lead to change.
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
Narcissists always get a bad press and probably rightly so. (At this point, we should note that we should only use the term narcissist when someone has been officially diagnosed with NPD…
If you had the chance to study the way a narcissist behaves in a relationship, you might recognise a distinct pattern. A three stage whirlwind of a relationship that will leave a victim emotionally…
Codependency is a complex issue and many therapists doubt its existence. They might agree somewhat with the classic definition of codependency where an enabling partner helps an addict maintain…
The messages we get from our parents as we grow up determine the way we see the world as an adult. If all things go well, we grow up to be independent with a secure attachment to the family base. However, when dysfunction happens, we become locked in a cycle of codependency…
It’s is very often that I come across clients who are obsessed with someone. The level of obsession is so high that it often means that normal life cannot carry on without some form of validation…
I have seen many times a situation that is very frustrating for me as a therapist. Working with codependents, it is often advisable to ensure their recovery…
These days we throw the words “narcissist” and “codependent” around like confetti. It is easy to label someone who appears self-centred as the former and one who gives a little bit too much as the latter.
Narcissists always get a bad press and probably rightly so. (At this point, we should note that we should only use the term narcissist when someone has been officially diagnosed with NPD…
ue to their lack of self-esteem and the inability to self-care, codependents become enmeshed with others easily. They work on the idea that all the while they are like this…
Being in a relationship with a narcissist “type” can be hell. However, what if the narcissist is your parent and has cloned you to be a living “perfect” version of him or her? A child chosen to heal the parent’s own broken past…
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
Despite so many people identifying with the symptoms, there are still some who doubt its existence or hold derogatory views against anyone claiming to be codependent. This includes virtually all of the medical profession and indeed, some therapists.
Some years ago, I wrote about the concept of the golden child in a family. Succinctly put, this is a child who is asked to maintain the self esteem of a narcissist parent…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
What next when your worst nightmare is over? Many codependents who manage to extract themselves from toxic or narcissistic relationships are often left with this question…
Many codependents I work with are stuck in relationships that are abusive, unfulfilling and going nowhere. The sad thing is that they are also going nowhere and stay when they know they should logically leave…
Discover “Therapy Shorts,” a collection of quick insights and gentle nudges to help you along your healing journey.
This week is about Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse
These posts, published twice per week with a short audio, provide bite-sized wisdom to help you grow and discover yourself. Join me as we investigate the small ways we can bring peace, clarity, and connection into our lives.
I run a feature on my blog titled Ask Me A Question. It is there so anyone can pose a question concerning their situation, disorder, relationship or anything else that they want some advice on…
Learn how to navigate a relationship with a narcissist and prioritize your mental health. Discover ways to exit toxic dynamics for good.
Starting the process is easier than you may think. All you need to do is contact me by mail or telephone and arrange the first consultation. This is free and will allow you to present your issues.
Join Dr Jenner and a small group of other participants in a series of totally private six 90-minute online group therapy sessions.
Join me for an audio program dedicated to addressing codependency issues and recovery, offering practical guidance and insights to enrich your journey towards well-being and recovery.
Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
