THE ONLINE THERAPIST

Mental Health Blog
By Dr Nicholas Jenner

THE ONLINE THERAPIST

Dr Nicholas Jenner

Featured Podcast

Welcome to The Online Therapist blog, dedicated to mental health and emotional wellbeing. I have been writing about these subjects for over two decades, and this site brings together my articles, podcasts, and resources on issues that affect everyday life, including relationships, codependency, narcissistic abuse, parenting, and depression. The top menu has been carefully organised to help you explore these topics more easily and find the support, insight, and guidance most relevant to your needs.

Dr Nicholas Jenner

Counselling Psychotherapist

New Podcast: The Manosphere, Porn, and Consent: How Attitudes Become Relationship Damage

March 13, 2026

In this episode I connect the wider culture to the private realities couples live with: how learned attitudes shape sexual scripts, and how those scripts can turn pornography into either an escape (often in codependency) or a sign of entitlement (often where narcissistic traits are present).

Therapy Shorts 76: Living with a Codependent Man Who Uses Porn Instead of Dealing With the Relationship

March 9, 2026

Why Codependent Men Might Turn to Porn But Narcissists Probably Will

March 7, 2026

Therapy Shorts 75: Why Codependents Choose Narcissists and Convince Themselves It’s Love

March 5, 2026

Therapy Shorts 73: Why Familiar Pain Feels Like Love

February 27, 2026

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Introducing The All New Free From Codependency Online Therapy Hub

Therapy Shorts 77: What Are We Teaching Boys About Women?

Therapy Shorts 74: Living With a Codependent: Why It Can Feel Suffocating and What Actually Helps

Stop Being “Good” in Arguments: How Codependency Turns Conflict Into Self-Abandonment

Therapy Shorts 72: Stop Calling It Chemistry: When “Urgent” Is Just Your Nervous System

Stop Trying to Heal Alone: The Community Move That Breaks Codependency for Good

NEW! THERAPY SHORTS

Popular Posts

New Podcast: The Manosphere, Porn, and Consent: How Attitudes Become Relationship Damage

March 13, 2026

Therapy Shorts 77: What Are We Teaching Boys About Women?

March 12, 2026

Why are boys still not being taught respect, boundaries and consent early enough? This article explores violence against women, harmful male attitudes, pornography, lad culture and outdated gender roles, arguing that emotional literacy, accountability and healthier masculinity are essential to improving women’s safety, equality and everyday trust in society today.

Therapy Shorts 76: Living with a Codependent Man Who Uses Porn Instead of Dealing With the Relationship

March 10, 2026

When a codependent man uses porn instead of addressing intimacy, conflict or emotional discomfort, the relationship suffers. This article explains why it happens, how a partner can respond without enabling the pattern, and offers a practical couple exercise to rebuild honesty, trust, accountability and healthier emotional connection together.

Why Codependent Men Might Turn to Porn But Narcissists Probably Will

March 8, 2026

Why do some men turn to porn instead of leaving unhappy relationships? This article explains how codependency can drive secrecy, avoidance, and nervous-system coping, while narcissistic traits are more linked to entitlement and control. Learn how to spot the difference and use a reflection exercise to gain clarity.

Therapy Shorts 75: Why Codependents Choose Narcissists and Convince Themselves It’s Love

March 5, 2026

Codependents often bond with potential rather than reality, staying invested in who someone could become. This article explains how early roles and nervous system activation keep hope alive, why occasional improvement is not stability, and how to separate compassion from commitment. It includes practical checks to choose based on consistent behaviour.

Therapy Shorts 74: Living With a Codependent: Why It Can Feel Suffocating and What Actually Helps

March 3, 2026

Living with a codependent partner can feel suffocating: your mood is monitored, independence triggers anxiety, and reassurance becomes a demand. This article explains the nervous system roots of codependency, the “invisible contract” of overgiving, and practical ways to respond with clear boundaries, calm consistency, and shared responsibility.

2024 is all about Conscious Detachment…

January 2, 2024

How To Assess Your Relationship For The R Factor. The Silent Killer Of Relationships

February 22, 2021

What Our Inner Voices Tell Us… The Bad News Is… We Believe Them!

February 11, 2021

How To Understand What A Porn Addiction Does To A Relationship

January 21, 2021

Therapy Shorts 58: How to Cope With Difficult Family Dynamics At Christmas

Navigate post-holiday family dynamics with tips to reclaim your identity and set healthy boundaries. Learn to manage guilt and find peace.

One Year Older, One Year Wiser About Life

Explore the journey to simplicity and self-discovery, reflecting on life lessons learned through relationships and personal growth.

Therapy Shorts 59: Conscious Detachment: The Missing Ingredient in Modern Relationships

Reflect on the past year and embrace your individuality. Learn to cultivate personal autonomy for healthier relationships in 2026 and beyond.

How Childhood Trauma Shapes Codependency and Affects the Nervous System

Explore how early relationships shape our reactions to modern life, and learn ways to navigate anxiety with awareness and new strategies.

Therapy Shorts 56: Understanding the Narcissistic Relationship Cycle: From Adulation to Discard

A clinical look at the narcissistic relationship cycle, adulation, devaluation, and discard and how healing begins with self-trust and recovery.

Therapy Shorts 57: Narcissistic and Codependent Relationships: Two Sides of the Same Wound

A clinical exploration of narcissistic and codependent relationships, how both stem from attachment wounds, and what healing through self-leadership requires.

Therapy Shorts 71: Boundaries Build Bridges… Don’t Be Afraid To Set Them

Therapy Shorts 70: The Boundary That Works Is the One You Can Keep

Practical Boundaries: How to Set Them, Say Them, and Stick to Them

Therapy Shorts 69: Loneliness, ‘Solutionships’, and the Work of Aloneness

Therapy Shorts 68: Why You Keep Being Attracted to the Wrong People

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explore popular posts

Are We Incompatible? Can You Really Love Someone So Different To You?

What is Avoidant Codependency?

Should your partner or spouse be part of your individual therapy and how?

The Concept of Individuality in a Relationship and Why it is Essential

Adult Issues We Should Not Be Talking To Our Children About

Narcissist Abuse Syndrome: Elements of Stockholm Syndrome and PTSD

What Does Porn Addiction Do To A Relationship?

Two Codependents Will Also Find A Relationship Difficult

Smack your child? You are an Abuser

do you smack your children? If so, you could soon be punished by law if lobbyists in EU have their way. Let me pitch in. There is no excuse in this world that can justify assaulting a child in the name of discipline!…

Narcissist Discard: A Blessing In Disguise

Being involved with a narcissist is like having a tornado blow its way through your life. Once it has died down, you are left with a mess…

Don’t Let Your Abuser Back In Your Life

The lockdown was, in fact, a haven for abusers. Their victims, who would typically have an escape route, had that route completely closed off by anti-virus procedures. It has been called by some, the shadow pandemic.

The Codependent’s Guide to Surviving a Breakup

The human experience is shaped by connection, and few events test us more than the end of a relationship. A breakup is rarely just the loss of a partner, it often feels like the loss of part of ourselves. We grieve the routines we shared, the future we imagined, and the security that came with being attached.

6 Ways To Get Over A Bad Break Up… 1 to 3

Anyone who has been through a break-up will testify to the feelings that surround it. Let’s face it, no-one likes being left and in reality, also ending a relationship is not easy. Invariably,…

Smack your child? You are an Abuser

Narcissist Discard: A Blessing In Disguise

Being involved with a narcissist is like having a tornado blow its way through your life. Once it has died down, you are left with a mess…

Don’t Let Your Abuser Back In Your Life

The Codependent’s Guide to Surviving a Breakup

6 Ways To Get Over A Bad Break Up… 1 to 3

Anyone who has been through a break-up will testify to the feelings that surround it. Let’s face it, no-one likes being left and in reality, also ending a relationship is not easy. Invariably,…

If You Keep Choosing Distant Partners, It’s Not Romance, It’s Repetition

Therapy Shorts 67: Codependency After Cheating: Why Some People Stay, Suffer, and Call It Love

Therapy Shorts 66: After Infidelity: The Three Roads Couples Take (and the One Most End Up On)

Infidelity and Codependency: Why Cheating Isn’t the End of the Story (and How Couples Really Respond)

Therapy Shorts 65: Understanding Your Nervous System: A Guide to Managing Anxiety

Popular Categories

INNER CHILD THERAPY

CODEPENDENCY ISSUES

COUPLES THERAPY

PARENTING ADVICE

Therapy Shorts 64: In The Mind Of A Codependent

ChatGPT Isn’t Therapy: The Quiet Risks of Replacing Human Help with AI

Therapy Shorts 63: If you have a Self-Centred Person in your life, don’t take this advice

Therapy Shorts 62: Understanding Codependency: The Push-Pull Dynamic Explained

Breaking Free from Social Media Addiction.When Social Media Stops Being a Choice

Join Our Next Round
of Online Group Therapy

Free From Codependency

Starting November 9th, 2025

Registration is now closed

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Starting November 9th, 2025

Registration is now closed

EXPLORE POPULAR POSTS

Are We Incompatible? Can You Really Love Someone So Different To You?

What is Avoidant Codependency?

Should your partner or spouse be part of your individual therapy and how?

The Concept of Individuality in a Relationship and Why it is Essential

Adult Issues We Should Not Be Talking To Our Children About

Narcissist Abuse Syndrome: Elements of Stockholm Syndrome and PTSD

What Does Porn Addiction Do To A Relationship?

Two Codependents Will Also Find A Relationship Difficult

Why Codependent Men Might Turn to Porn But Narcissists Probably Will

Infidelity and Codependency: Why Cheating Isn’t the End of the Story (and How Couples Really Respond)

Explore the complex aftermath of infidelity and codependency in relationships. Discover paths to healing and rebuilding trust effectively.

Therapy Shorts 63: If you have a Self-Centred Person in your life, don’t take this advice

Learn how to navigate a relationship with a narcissist and prioritize your mental health. Discover ways to exit toxic dynamics for good.

Therapy Shorts 57: Narcissistic and Codependent Relationships: Two Sides of the Same Wound

A clinical exploration of narcissistic and codependent relationships, how both stem from attachment wounds, and what healing through self-leadership requires.

The Real Question Isn’t ‘Will They Change?’ It’s Why Are You Staying?

If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.

Smack your child? You are an Abuser

Narcissist Discard: A Blessing In Disguise

Being involved with a narcissist is like having a tornado blow its way through your life. Once it has died down, you are left with a mess…

Don’t Let Your Abuser Back In Your Life

The Codependent’s Guide to Surviving a Breakup

6 Ways To Get Over A Bad Break Up… 1 to 3

Anyone who has been through a break-up will testify to the feelings that surround it. Let’s face it, no-one likes being left and in reality, also ending a relationship is not easy. Invariably,…

Smack your child? You are an Abuser

Narcissist Discard: A Blessing In Disguise

Being involved with a narcissist is like having a tornado blow its way through your life. Once it has died down, you are left with a mess…

Don’t Let Your Abuser Back In Your Life

The Codependent’s Guide to Surviving a Breakup

6 Ways To Get Over A Bad Break Up… 1 to 3

Anyone who has been through a break-up will testify to the feelings that surround it. Let’s face it, no-one likes being left and in reality, also ending a relationship is not easy. Invariably,…

Smack your child? You are an Abuser

Narcissist Discard: A Blessing In Disguise

Being involved with a narcissist is like having a tornado blow its way through your life. Once it has died down, you are left with a mess…

Don’t Let Your Abuser Back In Your Life

The Codependent’s Guide to Surviving a Breakup

6 Ways To Get Over A Bad Break Up… 1 to 3

Anyone who has been through a break-up will testify to the feelings that surround it. Let’s face it, no-one likes being left and in reality, also ending a relationship is not easy. Invariably,…