Welcome to The Online Therapist, where you can explore articles, Therapy Shorts, podcast episodes and resources on codependency, boundaries, narcissistic abuse and more. Use the top menu to browse by theme, or choose Search to use the AI search tool: type a question and it will point you to relevant pages across the site. If you prefer structured guidance, visit Self Help to access the 13-week programme. Contact Dr Jenner directly via Contact or WhatsApp here.
Can two people ever truly know one another? This article explores the limits of understanding in relationships, revealing how assumptions, personal history and curiosity shape emotional connection. Learn why lasting relationships depend less on certainty and more on continual discovery, open communication and a willingness to keep learning together.
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Can two people ever truly know one another? This article explores the limits of understanding in relationships, revealing how assumptions, personal history and curiosity shape emotional connection. Learn why lasting relationships depend less on certainty and more on continual discovery, open communication and a willingness to keep learning together.
What is a relationship really for? This thought-provoking article explores the deeper purpose of intimate relationships, arguing that they are not simply sources of happiness but opportunities for self-awareness, emotional growth and personal development. Discover how relationships reveal who we are and who we can become.
Can a relationship become your identity? This article explores how losing your sense of self within a partnership can affect confidence, boundaries and emotional wellbeing. Discover the difference between healthy connection and unhealthy dependence, and why maintaining your individuality is essential for lasting, fulfilling relationships.
Some relationships feel strongest during crisis because one partner becomes the rescuer and the other remains dependent. This article explores how recovery, confidence and independence can unsettle that balance, revealing whether love can survive without fixed roles of carer and cared-for, and whether equality can replace emotional dependency safely.
Explore the complexities of relationships entering 2026, covering love, compatibility, and the importance of personal identity.
Many people believe that couples who never argue have the healthiest relationships. This article explores why the absence of conflict is not always a sign of emotional wellbeing, revealing how silence, avoidance and self-abandonment can replace honest communication, and why psychological safety matters more than perfect harmony.
So, you have done the
The headline is perhaps a confusing one to anyone who has experienced trauma and abuse in their life. The helping professions are full of practitioners who deal in the art of forgiveness…
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
Many people believe they are grieving a relationship when, in reality, they are mourning the future they imagined. This article explores why we become attached to potential rather than reality, how fantasy shapes emotional pain, and why recognising the difference can be the first step towards genuine healing and healthier relationships.
About two years ago, I wrote a rather philosophical post pontificating about What Do We Need to Make us Happy? As I generally do, I placed this article on various websites for people to read and comment…
This article explores the codependent fantasy that enough love, patience, and understanding will change another person. It examines how hope, self-abandonment, and early relational conditioning keep people attached to harmful relationships, and why recovery begins with seeing reality clearly rather than trying to rescue someone who will not change.
When divorce and separation happen and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned…
Explore the complex aftermath of infidelity and codependency in relationships. Discover paths to healing and rebuilding trust effectively.
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
I have seen many times a situation that is very frustrating for me as a therapist. Working with codependents, it is often advisable to ensure their recovery…
Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example…
When divorce and separation happen and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned…
Explore the complex aftermath of infidelity and codependency in relationships. Discover paths to healing and rebuilding trust effectively.
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
I have seen many times a situation that is very frustrating for me as a therapist. Working with codependents, it is often advisable to ensure their recovery…
Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example…
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
When divorce and separation happen and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned…
Explore the complex aftermath of infidelity and codependency in relationships. Discover paths to healing and rebuilding trust effectively.
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
I have seen many times a situation that is very frustrating for me as a therapist. Working with codependents, it is often advisable to ensure their recovery…
Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example…
When divorce and separation happen and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned…
Explore the complex aftermath of infidelity and codependency in relationships. Discover paths to healing and rebuilding trust effectively.
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
I have seen many times a situation that is very frustrating for me as a therapist. Working with codependents, it is often advisable to ensure their recovery…
Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example…
When divorce and separation happen and children are involved, it is generally traumatic for all concerned…
Explore the complex aftermath of infidelity and codependency in relationships. Discover paths to healing and rebuilding trust effectively.
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
I have seen many times a situation that is very frustrating for me as a therapist. Working with codependents, it is often advisable to ensure their recovery…
Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example…
Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships. They attempt to make themselves indispensable for their partners (and everyone else) and become the local and family martyr…
While doing inner child work with clients, I often run them through a guided visualisation where they meet and greet a younger version of themselves…
Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…
I often see this in therapy. A client proudly declares that they have gone “no contact” with everyone who has disappointed them. (At this point, it must be said that no contact with a toxic ex partner is recommended). They go forward with conviction but mostly that conviction is down to exhaustion and mistrust. It is avoidance instead of healing.
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