Helping you understand the patterns that keep you stuck and create meaningful change.
Welcome to The Online Therapist
I’m Dr Nicholas Jenner, a counselling psychotherapist specialising in relationships, codependency, emotional patterns and personal change.
Through therapy, coaching, group programmes and self-help resources, my aim is to help people move from understanding their patterns towards creating meaningful change.
Why can a small disagreement feel threatening in a relationship? When conflict has become associated with rejection, withdrawal or instability, the nervous system may react as if connection itself is at risk. This article explores relationship conflict, codependency and emotional regulation, and explains how to stay present without abandoning your
Chat with Dr. Jenner Now!
Why can a small disagreement feel threatening in a relationship? When conflict has become associated with rejection, withdrawal or instability, the nervous system may react as if connection itself is at risk. This article explores relationship conflict, codependency and emotional regulation, and explains how to stay present without abandoning your own position.
The body often reacts before the mind is aware, responding to perceived threats based on past experiences. This can lead to overreactions during conflicts, as the nervous system is triggered by cues associated with danger. Understanding these reactions involves creating space to process emotions rather than acting immediately. Dr. Nicholas Jenner offers support through therapy and his Codependency programme to help manage these patterns.
Pornography can damage a relationship when it undermines trust, sexual exclusivity, emotional safety and intimacy. For many women, the injury is not simply that their partner has looked at sexual material.
Emotional parentification occurs when a child takes responsibility for a parent’s emotional needs, becoming a listener, comforter or mediator. This article explains how parentification differs from healthy helping, how it may affect adult relationships, common signs such as people pleasing and difficulty receiving care, and practical steps towards recovery.
Why is it so hard to let go after a relationship ends? This article explores attachment, codependency, nervous-system responses and IFS to explain why emotional bonds persist after separation. It shows why longing is not proof of compatibility and how recovery begins when awareness becomes practical, self-directed action over time.
Can attachment styles change in adulthood? Yes. Anxious, avoidant and insecure attachment patterns are not necessarily permanent. This article explains earned secure attachment, how childhood relationships influence adult behaviour, and why developing secure attachment requires more than self-awareness. Lasting change comes through new emotional experiences and different relationship behaviours over time.
While recently browsing a national UK newspaper, I came across an article concerning a comment made by Barack Obama concerning the questions you might ask yourself about a potential partner…
Many people believe they are grieving a relationship when, in reality, they are mourning the future they imagined. This article explores why we become attached to potential rather than reality, how fantasy shapes emotional pain, and why recognising the difference can be the first step towards genuine healing and healthier relationships.
We all do it. Something happens, we find ourselves in a situation where an assumption jumps up…
Many people believe that couples who never argue have the healthiest relationships. This article explores why the absence of conflict is not always a sign of emotional wellbeing, revealing how silence, avoidance and self-abandonment can replace honest communication, and why psychological safety matters more than perfect harmony.
Explore the complexities of relationships entering 2026, covering love, compatibility, and the importance of personal identity.
Some relationships feel strongest during crisis because one partner becomes the rescuer and the other remains dependent. This article explores how recovery, confidence and independence can unsettle that balance, revealing whether love can survive without fixed roles of carer and cared-for, and whether equality can replace emotional dependency safely.
Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”…
When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue…
Despite so many people identifying with the symptoms, there are still some who doubt its existence or hold derogatory views against anyone claiming to be codependent. This includes virtually all of the medical profession and indeed, some therapists.
Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it…
I am unfortunately dealing with a few messy divorce cases at present. I say unfortunately because it is never positive when a marriage breaks down…
Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”…
When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue…
Despite so many people identifying with the symptoms, there are still some who doubt its existence or hold derogatory views against anyone claiming to be codependent. This includes virtually all of the medical profession and indeed, some therapists.
Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it…
I am unfortunately dealing with a few messy divorce cases at present. I say unfortunately because it is never positive when a marriage breaks down…
Why do narcissists and codependents often form relationships? Explore how these patterns complement each other and how awareness can lead to change.
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”…
When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue…
Despite so many people identifying with the symptoms, there are still some who doubt its existence or hold derogatory views against anyone claiming to be codependent. This includes virtually all of the medical profession and indeed, some therapists.
Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it…
I am unfortunately dealing with a few messy divorce cases at present. I say unfortunately because it is never positive when a marriage breaks down…
Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”…
When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue…
Despite so many people identifying with the symptoms, there are still some who doubt its existence or hold derogatory views against anyone claiming to be codependent. This includes virtually all of the medical profession and indeed, some therapists.
Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it…
I am unfortunately dealing with a few messy divorce cases at present. I say unfortunately because it is never positive when a marriage breaks down…
Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”…
When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue…
Despite so many people identifying with the symptoms, there are still some who doubt its existence or hold derogatory views against anyone claiming to be codependent. This includes virtually all of the medical profession and indeed, some therapists.
Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it…
I am unfortunately dealing with a few messy divorce cases at present. I say unfortunately because it is never positive when a marriage breaks down…
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
Codependents show and exhibit many common symptoms. One of these and one that I see often with clients is hyper-vigilance, not in the sense of
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
I am unfortunately dealing with a few messy divorce cases at present. I say unfortunately because it is never positive when a marriage breaks down…
Starting the process is easier than you may think. All you need to do is contact me by mail or telephone and arrange the first consultation. This is free and will allow you to present your issues.
Join Dr Jenner and a small group of other participants in a series of totally private six 90-minute online group therapy sessions.
Join me for an audio program dedicated to addressing codependency issues and recovery, offering practical guidance and insights to enrich your journey towards well-being and recovery.
Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
