Welcome to The Online Therapist, where you can explore articles, Therapy Shorts, podcast episodes and resources on codependency, boundaries, narcissistic abuse and more. Use the top menu to browse by theme, or choose Search to use the AI search tool: type a question and it will point you to relevant pages across the site. If you prefer structured guidance, visit Self Help to access the 13-week programme. Contact Dr Jenner directly via Contact or WhatsApp here.
Why do we keep repeating the same relationship patterns despite choosing different partners? This article explores how childhood experiences, emotional familiarity, and unconscious expectations shape our attractions and choices. Discover why familiar relationships often feel right, how patterns develop, and what it takes to create healthier, lasting connections.
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Why do we keep repeating the same relationship patterns despite choosing different partners? This article explores how childhood experiences, emotional familiarity, and unconscious expectations shape our attractions and choices. Discover why familiar relationships often feel right, how patterns develop, and what it takes to create healthier, lasting connections.
Many people lose themselves in relationships without realising it. This article explores the concept of the false self, how codependency and self-abandonment develop, and why authenticity is essential for healthy relationships. Learn how reconnecting with your true self can improve self-esteem, boundaries, emotional wellbeing, and intimacy.
othing is perfect and that goes for relationships too. Even in the best of intimate relationships, there are those subtle and not so subtle signs that harmony is being disrupted…
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
We all have a past. When two people come together and try to form a relationship, the experiences gained by both play a role. How much of a role depends greatly on the people concerned…
We convince ourselves that we are fine. We keep busy, distract ourselves, and on we go. Yet deep down, we know we are stuck, and all the escape in the world won’t change that. We are stuck in patterns, habits and stories we tell ourselves.
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
Change is never easy but we face it every day. For some it is a terrifying experience, for others an opportunity. We all, see it, feel it and deal with in in different ways. How we see it, feel it and deal with it will generally determine how difficult it will be…
Codependency does not only shape relationships. It affects the body as well. Chronic over-responsibility, people-pleasing and emotional vigilance can lead to exhaustion, tension, poor sleep and stress-related symptoms. This article explores how codependency lives in the body, including the role of the nervous system in keeping people stuck.
Break-ups can feel devastating for codependents because the loss is not just of a partner, but of identity, purpose and emotional stability. This article explores why codependents struggle to let go, why they chase unhealthy partners, and how healing begins through boundaries, self-focus, grief work and emotional recovery.
Nervous system regulation is not a trend or quick fix. It is the gradual process of helping the body feel safe enough to come out of survival mode. This article explores simple, effective ways to regulate the nervous system through breath, routine, boundaries, rest, movement and steady daily practice.
In Therapy Shorts 81, Dr Nicholas Jenner appears on The Good Men Project to discuss codependency recovery. This interview explores how codependent patterns form, why people-pleasing persists, and what healthy boundaries actually look like in real relationships. Practical insights cover self-worth, attachment, and small steps to shift from rescuing to relating.
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol…
Discover “Therapy Shorts,” a collection of quick insights and gentle nudges to help you along your healing journey.
This week is about Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse
These posts, published twice per week with a short audio, provide bite-sized wisdom to help you grow and discover yourself. Join me as we investigate the small ways we can bring peace, clarity, and connection into our lives.
Narcissists are the archetypal Jekyll and Hyde characters, one way one moment, one way the next…
I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life…
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol…
Discover “Therapy Shorts,” a collection of quick insights and gentle nudges to help you along your healing journey.
This week is about Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse
These posts, published twice per week with a short audio, provide bite-sized wisdom to help you grow and discover yourself. Join me as we investigate the small ways we can bring peace, clarity, and connection into our lives.
Narcissists are the archetypal Jekyll and Hyde characters, one way one moment, one way the next…
I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life…
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol…
Discover “Therapy Shorts,” a collection of quick insights and gentle nudges to help you along your healing journey.
This week is about Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse
These posts, published twice per week with a short audio, provide bite-sized wisdom to help you grow and discover yourself. Join me as we investigate the small ways we can bring peace, clarity, and connection into our lives.
Narcissists are the archetypal Jekyll and Hyde characters, one way one moment, one way the next…
I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life…
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol…
Discover “Therapy Shorts,” a collection of quick insights and gentle nudges to help you along your healing journey.
This week is about Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse
These posts, published twice per week with a short audio, provide bite-sized wisdom to help you grow and discover yourself. Join me as we investigate the small ways we can bring peace, clarity, and connection into our lives.
Narcissists are the archetypal Jekyll and Hyde characters, one way one moment, one way the next…
I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life…
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol…
Discover “Therapy Shorts,” a collection of quick insights and gentle nudges to help you along your healing journey.
This week is about Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse
These posts, published twice per week with a short audio, provide bite-sized wisdom to help you grow and discover yourself. Join me as we investigate the small ways we can bring peace, clarity, and connection into our lives.
Narcissists are the archetypal Jekyll and Hyde characters, one way one moment, one way the next…
I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life…
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less…
In my job, I deal daily with lots of angry people. There are those who are angry about something specific (and sometimes have a right to be) and those who are just angry…
Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…
Starting the process is easier than you may think. All you need to do is contact me by mail or telephone and arrange the first consultation. This is free and will allow you to present your issues.
Join Dr Jenner and a small group of other participants in a series of totally private six 90-minute online group therapy sessions.
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Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
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