Helping you understand the patterns that keep you stuck and create meaningful change.
Welcome to The Online Therapist
I’m Dr Nicholas Jenner, a counselling psychotherapist specialising in relationships, codependency, emotional patterns and personal change.
Through therapy, coaching, group programmes and self-help resources, my aim is to help people move from understanding their patterns towards creating meaningful change.
When couples stop arguing, it doesn’t always mean their relationship has improved. Sometimes, silence signals emotional withdrawal, resignation or relationship exhaustion. Explore why partners emotionally disconnect, how codependency and attachment patterns contribute, and whether a relationship can recover when one person has stopped trying to make things work.
Chat with Dr. Jenner Now!
When couples stop arguing, it doesn’t always mean their relationship has improved. Sometimes, silence signals emotional withdrawal, resignation or relationship exhaustion. Explore why partners emotionally disconnect, how codependency and attachment patterns contribute, and whether a relationship can recover when one person has stopped trying to make things work.
Awareness to Action is now on iPhone and Android. Explore how describing a difficult decision, choosing a manageable action and reviewing the outcome can help reflection lead somewhere.
Awareness to Action is now available on the App Store and Google Play. See how the Boundary Room can help you prepare what to say, choose an action and review what happened.
How long should you wait for a partner to change? This article explores when patience becomes avoidance, why promises are different from sustained behavioural change, and how people can become attached to potential rather than evidence. Awareness matters, but healthier relationships eventually require action, boundaries and consistent responsibility from both partners.
Knowing something needs to change is not the same as knowing what to do next. Discover how Awareness to Action uses responsive coaching, private journalling and guided practices to help you choose a manageable action. Available now on iPhone and Android, with a seven-day trial for eligible new subscribers.
Awareness to Action is now available on iPhone. Discover responsive coaching tools, a private journal, guided meditations and music by Abøn, with a seven-day trial for eligible new subscribers.
Emotional cheating can be difficult to define because no physical boundary may have been crossed. This article explores when friendship becomes betrayal, why secrecy matters, how emotional energy shifts outside a relationship, and the questions couples can ask when deciding whether trust has been broken and whether it can return.
The honeymoon phase is often seen as the most exciting stage of a relationship, but it can also distort judgement and encourage premature decisions. This article explores the psychology behind early romantic love, why chemistry differs from compatibility, and how time—not intensity—reveals the true foundations of lasting relationships.
Many people fear the end of the honeymoon phase, believing it signals the end of love. This article explores why the transition is a natural part of healthy relationships, how emotional intimacy replaces early excitement, and why lasting love is built on trust, compatibility and choice rather than passion alone.
The term “emotionally unavailable” often mislabels partners who differ in emotional expression. True emotional availability requires partners to engage with feelings, express needs, and navigate conflict. It’s vital to distinguish between emotional neglect and simply differing communication styles. Understanding can foster connection and compatibility in relationships, overcoming perceived barriers.
Why do people remain in relationships that repeatedly hurt them? This article uses an IFS perspective to explore the protective parts behind codependent attachment, including fear, guilt, hope and responsibility. It explains why leaving can feel dangerous and how compassionate self-leadership can eventually support clearer, healthier and more authentic choices.
Many adults avoid conflict not
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma…
I am unfortunately dealing with a few messy divorce cases at present. I say unfortunately because it is never positive when a marriage breaks down…
If you’re struggling with a toxic relationship or looking to cultivate a more interdependent and fulfilling relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Together, we can work towards building a brighter future.
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma…
I am unfortunately dealing with a few messy divorce cases at present. I say unfortunately because it is never positive when a marriage breaks down…
If you’re struggling with a toxic relationship or looking to cultivate a more interdependent and fulfilling relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Together, we can work towards building a brighter future.
Why do narcissists and codependents often form relationships? Explore how these patterns complement each other and how awareness can lead to change.
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma…
I am unfortunately dealing with a few messy divorce cases at present. I say unfortunately because it is never positive when a marriage breaks down…
If you’re struggling with a toxic relationship or looking to cultivate a more interdependent and fulfilling relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Together, we can work towards building a brighter future.
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma…
I am unfortunately dealing with a few messy divorce cases at present. I say unfortunately because it is never positive when a marriage breaks down…
If you’re struggling with a toxic relationship or looking to cultivate a more interdependent and fulfilling relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Together, we can work towards building a brighter future.
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma…
I am unfortunately dealing with a few messy divorce cases at present. I say unfortunately because it is never positive when a marriage breaks down…
If you’re struggling with a toxic relationship or looking to cultivate a more interdependent and fulfilling relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Together, we can work towards building a brighter future.
If you had the chance to study the way a narcissist behaves in a relationship, you might recognise a distinct pattern. A three stage whirlwind of a relationship that will leave a victim emotionally…
Codependents show and exhibit many common symptoms. One of these and one that I see often with clients is hyper-vigilance, not in the sense of
Narcissists are very choosy. They choose their victims carefully and their choice is usually based on such things as status, wealth, influence or ability. The victims are usually attractive and popular. The more of this the victim has, the greater the value of the supply for the narcissist.
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies…
Starting the process is easier than you may think. All you need to do is contact me by mail or telephone and arrange the first consultation. This is free and will allow you to present your issues.
Join Dr Jenner and a small group of other participants in a series of totally private six 90-minute online group therapy sessions.
Join me for an audio program dedicated to addressing codependency issues and recovery, offering practical guidance and insights to enrich your journey towards well-being and recovery.
Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
