THE ONLINE THERAPIST

Mental Health Blog
By Dr Nicholas Jenner

THE ONLINE THERAPIST

Dr Nicholas Jenner

Featured Podcast

Welcome to The Online Therapist blog, dedicated to mental health and emotional wellbeing. I have been writing about these subjects for over two decades, and this site brings together my articles, podcasts, and resources on issues that affect everyday life, including relationships, codependency, narcissistic abuse, parenting, and depression. The top menu has been carefully organised to help you explore these topics more easily and find the support, insight, and guidance most relevant to your needs.

Dr Nicholas Jenner

Counselling Psychotherapist

New Podcast: The Manosphere, Porn, and Consent: How Attitudes Become Relationship Damage

March 13, 2026

In this episode I connect the wider culture to the private realities couples live with: how learned attitudes shape sexual scripts, and how those scripts can turn pornography into either an escape (often in codependency) or a sign of entitlement (often where narcissistic traits are present).

Therapy Shorts 76: Living with a Codependent Man Who Uses Porn Instead of Dealing With the Relationship

March 9, 2026

Why Codependent Men Might Turn to Porn But Narcissists Probably Will

March 7, 2026

Therapy Shorts 75: Why Codependents Choose Narcissists and Convince Themselves It’s Love

March 5, 2026

Therapy Shorts 73: Why Familiar Pain Feels Like Love

February 27, 2026

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Introducing The All New Free From Codependency Online Therapy Hub

Therapy Shorts 77: What Are We Teaching Boys About Women?

Therapy Shorts 74: Living With a Codependent: Why It Can Feel Suffocating and What Actually Helps

Stop Being “Good” in Arguments: How Codependency Turns Conflict Into Self-Abandonment

Therapy Shorts 72: Stop Calling It Chemistry: When “Urgent” Is Just Your Nervous System

Stop Trying to Heal Alone: The Community Move That Breaks Codependency for Good

NEW! THERAPY SHORTS

Popular Posts

New Podcast: The Manosphere, Porn, and Consent: How Attitudes Become Relationship Damage

March 13, 2026

Therapy Shorts 77: What Are We Teaching Boys About Women?

March 12, 2026

Why are boys still not being taught respect, boundaries and consent early enough? This article explores violence against women, harmful male attitudes, pornography, lad culture and outdated gender roles, arguing that emotional literacy, accountability and healthier masculinity are essential to improving women’s safety, equality and everyday trust in society today.

Therapy Shorts 76: Living with a Codependent Man Who Uses Porn Instead of Dealing With the Relationship

March 10, 2026

When a codependent man uses porn instead of addressing intimacy, conflict or emotional discomfort, the relationship suffers. This article explains why it happens, how a partner can respond without enabling the pattern, and offers a practical couple exercise to rebuild honesty, trust, accountability and healthier emotional connection together.

Why Codependent Men Might Turn to Porn But Narcissists Probably Will

March 8, 2026

Why do some men turn to porn instead of leaving unhappy relationships? This article explains how codependency can drive secrecy, avoidance, and nervous-system coping, while narcissistic traits are more linked to entitlement and control. Learn how to spot the difference and use a reflection exercise to gain clarity.

Therapy Shorts 75: Why Codependents Choose Narcissists and Convince Themselves It’s Love

March 5, 2026

Codependents often bond with potential rather than reality, staying invested in who someone could become. This article explains how early roles and nervous system activation keep hope alive, why occasional improvement is not stability, and how to separate compassion from commitment. It includes practical checks to choose based on consistent behaviour.

Therapy Shorts 74: Living With a Codependent: Why It Can Feel Suffocating and What Actually Helps

March 3, 2026

Living with a codependent partner can feel suffocating: your mood is monitored, independence triggers anxiety, and reassurance becomes a demand. This article explains the nervous system roots of codependency, the “invisible contract” of overgiving, and practical ways to respond with clear boundaries, calm consistency, and shared responsibility.

2024 is all about Conscious Detachment…

January 2, 2024

How To Assess Your Relationship For The R Factor. The Silent Killer Of Relationships

February 22, 2021

What Our Inner Voices Tell Us… The Bad News Is… We Believe Them!

February 11, 2021

How To Understand What A Porn Addiction Does To A Relationship

January 21, 2021

Therapy Shorts 58: How to Cope With Difficult Family Dynamics At Christmas

Navigate post-holiday family dynamics with tips to reclaim your identity and set healthy boundaries. Learn to manage guilt and find peace.

One Year Older, One Year Wiser About Life

Explore the journey to simplicity and self-discovery, reflecting on life lessons learned through relationships and personal growth.

Therapy Shorts 59: Conscious Detachment: The Missing Ingredient in Modern Relationships

Reflect on the past year and embrace your individuality. Learn to cultivate personal autonomy for healthier relationships in 2026 and beyond.

When Love Turns Into Panic: The Three Projects That Quietly Ruin Relationships.

Explore the complexities of relationships entering 2026, covering love, compatibility, and the importance of personal identity.

How Childhood Trauma Shapes Codependency and Affects the Nervous System

Explore how early relationships shape our reactions to modern life, and learn ways to navigate anxiety with awareness and new strategies.

Therapy Shorts 57: Narcissistic and Codependent Relationships: Two Sides of the Same Wound

A clinical exploration of narcissistic and codependent relationships, how both stem from attachment wounds, and what healing through self-leadership requires.

Therapy Shorts 71: Boundaries Build Bridges… Don’t Be Afraid To Set Them

Therapy Shorts 70: The Boundary That Works Is the One You Can Keep

Practical Boundaries: How to Set Them, Say Them, and Stick to Them

Therapy Shorts 69: Loneliness, ‘Solutionships’, and the Work of Aloneness

Therapy Shorts 68: Why You Keep Being Attracted to the Wrong People

Join Our Next Round
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explore popular posts

Are We Incompatible? Can You Really Love Someone So Different To You?

What is Avoidant Codependency?

Should your partner or spouse be part of your individual therapy and how?

The Concept of Individuality in a Relationship and Why it is Essential

Adult Issues We Should Not Be Talking To Our Children About

Narcissist Abuse Syndrome: Elements of Stockholm Syndrome and PTSD

What Does Porn Addiction Do To A Relationship?

Two Codependents Will Also Find A Relationship Difficult

Communication: Direct Accusation vs Problem Identification

When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less…

Life After Narcissism: Further Toxic Or Nourishing? It Is Your Choice!

What next when your worst nightmare is over? Many codependents who manage to extract themselves from toxic or narcissistic relationships are often left with this question…

Couples Therapy: A Codependency Case Study

Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…

Narcissists Are Abusers But Codependents Choose To Stay (Until They Don’t)

Can you imagine being locked away with another person for a number of years, isolated from the outside world and seemingly helpless to escape?…

The Narcissist Parent And His Chosen Child

Being in a relationship with a narcissist “type” can be hell. However, what if the narcissist is your parent and has cloned you to be a living “perfect” version of him or her? A child chosen to heal the parent’s own broken past…

Communication: Direct Accusation vs Problem Identification

Life After Narcissism: Further Toxic Or Nourishing? It Is Your Choice!

What next when your worst nightmare is over? Many codependents who manage to extract themselves from toxic or narcissistic relationships are often left with this question…

Couples Therapy: A Codependency Case Study

Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…

Narcissists Are Abusers But Codependents Choose To Stay (Until They Don’t)

Can you imagine being locked away with another person for a number of years, isolated from the outside world and seemingly helpless to escape?…

The Narcissist Parent And His Chosen Child

If You Keep Choosing Distant Partners, It’s Not Romance, It’s Repetition

Therapy Shorts 67: Codependency After Cheating: Why Some People Stay, Suffer, and Call It Love

Therapy Shorts 66: After Infidelity: The Three Roads Couples Take (and the One Most End Up On)

Infidelity and Codependency: Why Cheating Isn’t the End of the Story (and How Couples Really Respond)

Therapy Shorts 65: Understanding Your Nervous System: A Guide to Managing Anxiety

Popular Categories

INNER CHILD THERAPY

CODEPENDENCY ISSUES

COUPLES THERAPY

PARENTING ADVICE

Therapy Shorts 64: In The Mind Of A Codependent

ChatGPT Isn’t Therapy: The Quiet Risks of Replacing Human Help with AI

Therapy Shorts 63: If you have a Self-Centred Person in your life, don’t take this advice

Therapy Shorts 62: Understanding Codependency: The Push-Pull Dynamic Explained

Breaking Free from Social Media Addiction.When Social Media Stops Being a Choice

Join Our Next Round
of Online Group Therapy

Free From Codependency

Starting November 9th, 2025

Registration is now closed

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Starting November 9th, 2025

Registration is now closed

EXPLORE POPULAR POSTS

Are We Incompatible? Can You Really Love Someone So Different To You?

What is Avoidant Codependency?

Should your partner or spouse be part of your individual therapy and how?

The Concept of Individuality in a Relationship and Why it is Essential

Adult Issues We Should Not Be Talking To Our Children About

Narcissist Abuse Syndrome: Elements of Stockholm Syndrome and PTSD

What Does Porn Addiction Do To A Relationship?

Two Codependents Will Also Find A Relationship Difficult

Why Codependent Men Might Turn to Porn But Narcissists Probably Will

Infidelity and Codependency: Why Cheating Isn’t the End of the Story (and How Couples Really Respond)

Explore the complex aftermath of infidelity and codependency in relationships. Discover paths to healing and rebuilding trust effectively.

Therapy Shorts 63: If you have a Self-Centred Person in your life, don’t take this advice

Learn how to navigate a relationship with a narcissist and prioritize your mental health. Discover ways to exit toxic dynamics for good.

Therapy Shorts 57: Narcissistic and Codependent Relationships: Two Sides of the Same Wound

A clinical exploration of narcissistic and codependent relationships, how both stem from attachment wounds, and what healing through self-leadership requires.

The Real Question Isn’t ‘Will They Change?’ It’s Why Are You Staying?

If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.

Communication: Direct Accusation vs Problem Identification

Life After Narcissism: Further Toxic Or Nourishing? It Is Your Choice!

What next when your worst nightmare is over? Many codependents who manage to extract themselves from toxic or narcissistic relationships are often left with this question…

Couples Therapy: A Codependency Case Study

Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…

Narcissists Are Abusers But Codependents Choose To Stay (Until They Don’t)

Can you imagine being locked away with another person for a number of years, isolated from the outside world and seemingly helpless to escape?…

The Narcissist Parent And His Chosen Child

Communication: Direct Accusation vs Problem Identification

Life After Narcissism: Further Toxic Or Nourishing? It Is Your Choice!

What next when your worst nightmare is over? Many codependents who manage to extract themselves from toxic or narcissistic relationships are often left with this question…

Couples Therapy: A Codependency Case Study

Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…

Narcissists Are Abusers But Codependents Choose To Stay (Until They Don’t)

Can you imagine being locked away with another person for a number of years, isolated from the outside world and seemingly helpless to escape?…

The Narcissist Parent And His Chosen Child

Communication: Direct Accusation vs Problem Identification

Life After Narcissism: Further Toxic Or Nourishing? It Is Your Choice!

What next when your worst nightmare is over? Many codependents who manage to extract themselves from toxic or narcissistic relationships are often left with this question…

Couples Therapy: A Codependency Case Study

Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…

Narcissists Are Abusers But Codependents Choose To Stay (Until They Don’t)

Can you imagine being locked away with another person for a number of years, isolated from the outside world and seemingly helpless to escape?…

The Narcissist Parent And His Chosen Child

Therapy Shorts 61: The Role of Thinking Parts in Mental Health

Therapy Shorts 60: After a Bad Breakup: Practical Steps That Actually Help

Do More, Not Less: A Different Kind of New Year

Therapy Shorts 56: Understanding the Narcissistic Relationship Cycle: From Adulation to Discard

Nostalgia, Ageing & Living Alone at Christmas and Year’s End

POPULAR CATEGORIES

INNER CHILD THERAPY

FREE FROM CODEPENDENCY

COUPLES THERAPY

PARENTING ADVICE

Therapy Shorts 55: How to Heal Attachment Wounds: A Roadmap to Recovery

Therapy Shorts 54: Your Childhood Is Still Running Your Life (You Just Don’t See It)

In-Depth Guide: Why You Love the Way You Do — The Psychology of Attachment

Listen to my Interview on UK Health Radio

Therapy Shorts 53: Healing Requires Loneliness

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EXPLORE POPULAR POSTS:

What Does Porn Addiction Do To A Relationship?

Narcissist Abuse Syndrome: Elements of Stockholm Syndrome and PTSD

Adult Issues We Should Not Be Talking To Our Children About

The Concept of Individuality in a Relationship and Why it is Essential

Are We Incompatible? Can You Really Love Someone So Different To You?

Should your partner or spouse be part of your individual therapy and how?

What is Avoidant Codependency?

Two Codependents Will Also Find A Relationship Difficult

Codependency? Control Not Love

These days we throw the words “narcissist” and “codependent” around like confetti. It is easy to label someone who appears self-centred as the former and one who gives a little bit too much as the latter.

Infidelity and Codependency: Why Cheating Isn’t the End of the Story (and How Couples Really Respond)

Explore the complex aftermath of infidelity and codependency in relationships. Discover paths to healing and rebuilding trust effectively.

Identify The Rebel And The Critic And Release The Champion

When I sometimes take the time to analyse my patients at any given point, there are always many codependents among them. This might be because I have had my own issues with this and like to work with them or it might just be an indication of the size of the issue…

Take Your Internal Family To A Safe Place

In my last post, I talked about the value of meeting a “younger self” in visualisation. I said and believe that this is an emotional but worthwhile step in trying to come to terms with childhood trauma…