Helping you understand the patterns that keep you stuck and create meaningful change.
Welcome to The Online Therapist
I’m Dr Nicholas Jenner, a counselling psychotherapist specialising in relationships, codependency, emotional patterns and personal change.
Through therapy, coaching, group programmes and self-help resources, my aim is to help people move from understanding their patterns towards creating meaningful change.
Awareness to Action is now available on iPhone. Discover responsive coaching tools, a private journal, guided meditations and music by Abøn, with a seven-day trial for eligible new subscribers.
Chat with Dr. Jenner Now!
Awareness to Action is now available on iPhone. Discover responsive coaching tools, a private journal, guided meditations and music by Abøn, with a seven-day trial for eligible new subscribers.
Do you really need to reset your nervous system? This article explains why calming and regulation are more useful concepts, how nervous-system activation protects us and how simple practices such as breathing, movement and present-moment awareness can help the body settle without expensive gadgets or complicated techniques.
Children learn about relationships by observing how their parents handle affection, conflict, repair, boundaries and independence. Dr Nicholas Jenner explores how the relationship between adults can influence a child’s developing expectations about intimacy and emotional safety, and why respectful repair may matter more than trying to avoid disagreement completely.
Parentified children can become adults who feel responsible for everyone around them. This article explores how childhood parentification can lead to over-responsibility, rescuing, people-pleasing and codependent relationship patterns, and explains how separating genuine care from emotional responsibility can help create healthier, more balanced adult relationships without abandoning empathy or connection.
Group therapy can be particularly effective for codependency because relational patterns become visible and can be practised in real time. This article explores how groups reduce shame, increase self-awareness, strengthen boundaries and help people move from understanding codependency intellectually towards changing how they respond in everyday relationships with greater confidence.
The term “emotionally unavailable” often mislabels partners who differ in emotional expression. True emotional availability requires partners to engage with feelings, express needs, and navigate conflict. It’s vital to distinguish between emotional neglect and simply differing communication styles. Understanding can foster connection and compatibility in relationships, overcoming perceived barriers.
Emotional cheating can be difficult to define because no physical boundary may have been crossed. This article explores when friendship becomes betrayal, why secrecy matters, how emotional energy shifts outside a relationship, and the questions couples can ask when deciding whether trust has been broken and whether it can return.
The honeymoon phase is often seen as the most exciting stage of a relationship, but it can also distort judgement and encourage premature decisions. This article explores the psychology behind early romantic love, why chemistry differs from compatibility, and how time—not intensity—reveals the true foundations of lasting relationships.
Emotional parentification occurs when a child takes responsibility for a parent’s emotional needs, becoming a listener, comforter or mediator. This article explains how parentification differs from healthy helping, how it may affect adult relationships, common signs such as people pleasing and difficulty receiving care, and practical steps towards recovery.
Some relationships feel strongest during crisis because one partner becomes the rescuer and the other remains dependent. This article explores how recovery, confidence and independence can unsettle that balance, revealing whether love can survive without fixed roles of carer and cared-for, and whether equality can replace emotional dependency safely.
Can a relationship become your identity? This article explores how losing your sense of self within a partnership can affect confidence, boundaries and emotional wellbeing. Discover the difference between healthy connection and unhealthy dependence, and why maintaining your individuality is essential for lasting, fulfilling relationships.
What is a relationship really for? This thought-provoking article explores the deeper purpose of intimate relationships, arguing that they are not simply sources of happiness but opportunities for self-awareness, emotional growth and personal development. Discover how relationships reveal who we are and who we can become.
I run a feature on my blog titled Ask Me A Question. It is there so anyone can pose a question concerning their situation, disorder, relationship or anything else that they want some advice on…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
Codependents love to give. It is what they do, continually. As I have mentioned in previous posts, this giving comes with an element of return…
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies. The advice is clear: get away from the situation as quickly as possible…
I run a feature on my blog titled Ask Me A Question. It is there so anyone can pose a question concerning their situation, disorder, relationship or anything else that they want some advice on…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
Codependents love to give. It is what they do, continually. As I have mentioned in previous posts, this giving comes with an element of return…
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies. The advice is clear: get away from the situation as quickly as possible…
Why do narcissists and codependents often form relationships? Explore how these patterns complement each other and how awareness can lead to change.
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
I run a feature on my blog titled Ask Me A Question. It is there so anyone can pose a question concerning their situation, disorder, relationship or anything else that they want some advice on…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
Codependents love to give. It is what they do, continually. As I have mentioned in previous posts, this giving comes with an element of return…
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies. The advice is clear: get away from the situation as quickly as possible…
I run a feature on my blog titled Ask Me A Question. It is there so anyone can pose a question concerning their situation, disorder, relationship or anything else that they want some advice on…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
Codependents love to give. It is what they do, continually. As I have mentioned in previous posts, this giving comes with an element of return…
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies. The advice is clear: get away from the situation as quickly as possible…
I run a feature on my blog titled Ask Me A Question. It is there so anyone can pose a question concerning their situation, disorder, relationship or anything else that they want some advice on…
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
Codependents love to give. It is what they do, continually. As I have mentioned in previous posts, this giving comes with an element of return…
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies. The advice is clear: get away from the situation as quickly as possible…
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies…
Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”…
ust recently, infidelity in marriages has been a big topic with some of my clients. It has happened and they are struggling with the aftermath of it. Some have separated, some have separated to try to see if there can be a basis for renewal of the relationship…
The belief that anyone or anything external to you possesses power over you is an illusion. The only reason they can exert power over you is because there are unresolved aspects within you that enable it.
Starting the process is easier than you may think. All you need to do is contact me by mail or telephone and arrange the first consultation. This is free and will allow you to present your issues.
Join Dr Jenner and a small group of other participants in a series of totally private six 90-minute online group therapy sessions.
Join me for an audio program dedicated to addressing codependency issues and recovery, offering practical guidance and insights to enrich your journey towards well-being and recovery.
Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
