Helping you understand the patterns that keep you stuck and create meaningful change.
Welcome to The Online Therapist
I’m Dr Nicholas Jenner, a counselling psychotherapist specialising in relationships, codependency, emotional patterns and personal change.
Through therapy, coaching, group programmes and self-help resources, my aim is to help people move from understanding their patterns towards creating meaningful change.
Group therapy can be particularly effective for codependency because relational patterns become visible and can be practised in real time. This article explores how groups reduce shame, increase self-awareness, strengthen boundaries and help people move from understanding codependency intellectually towards changing how they respond in everyday relationships with greater confidence.
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Group therapy can be particularly effective for codependency because relational patterns become visible and can be practised in real time. This article explores how groups reduce shame, increase self-awareness, strengthen boundaries and help people move from understanding codependency intellectually towards changing how they respond in everyday relationships with greater confidence.
The term “emotionally unavailable” often mislabels partners who differ in emotional expression. True emotional availability requires partners to engage with feelings, express needs, and navigate conflict. It’s vital to distinguish between emotional neglect and simply differing communication styles. Understanding can foster connection and compatibility in relationships, overcoming perceived barriers.
Children who seem unusually mature may sometimes be adapting to emotional unpredictability at home. This article explores parentification, childhood hypervigilance, nervous-system responses, attachment and codependency, explaining how early responsibility can shape adult relationships and why learning to recognise personal needs is an important part of recovery and healthier connection.
Why can a small disagreement feel threatening in a relationship? When conflict has become associated with rejection, withdrawal or instability, the nervous system may react as if connection itself is at risk. This article explores relationship conflict, codependency and emotional regulation, and explains how to stay present without abandoning your own position.
The body often reacts before the mind is aware, responding to perceived threats based on past experiences. This can lead to overreactions during conflicts, as the nervous system is triggered by cues associated with danger. Understanding these reactions involves creating space to process emotions rather than acting immediately. Dr. Nicholas Jenner offers support through therapy and his Codependency programme to help manage these patterns.
Pornography can damage a relationship when it undermines trust, sexual exclusivity, emotional safety and intimacy. For many women, the injury is not simply that their partner has looked at sexual material.
We all do it. Something happens, we find ourselves in a situation where an assumption jumps up…
Many people believe that couples who never argue have the healthiest relationships. This article explores why the absence of conflict is not always a sign of emotional wellbeing, revealing how silence, avoidance and self-abandonment can replace honest communication, and why psychological safety matters more than perfect harmony.
Explore the complexities of relationships entering 2026, covering love, compatibility, and the importance of personal identity.
When does helping become controlling? Explore how codependency, rescuing, over-functioning, attachment and nervous-system patterns can blur the line between support and control.
Some relationships feel strongest during crisis because one partner becomes the rescuer and the other remains dependent. This article explores how recovery, confidence and independence can unsettle that balance, revealing whether love can survive without fixed roles of carer and cared-for, and whether equality can replace emotional dependency safely.
Can a relationship become your identity? This article explores how losing your sense of self within a partnership can affect confidence, boundaries and emotional wellbeing. Discover the difference between healthy connection and unhealthy dependence, and why maintaining your individuality is essential for lasting, fulfilling relationships.
Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships…
I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life…
Healthy narcissism is a grounded sense of self-worth that supports confidence, resilience, empathy and healthy boundaries. It is very different from pathological narcissism, which is defensive and damaging. This article explains why healthy narcissism matters, how it develops, and why it is essential for emotional health and relationships.
Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it…
Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”…
Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships…
I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life…
Healthy narcissism is a grounded sense of self-worth that supports confidence, resilience, empathy and healthy boundaries. It is very different from pathological narcissism, which is defensive and damaging. This article explains why healthy narcissism matters, how it develops, and why it is essential for emotional health and relationships.
Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it…
Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”…
Why do narcissists and codependents often form relationships? Explore how these patterns complement each other and how awareness can lead to change.
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships…
I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life…
Healthy narcissism is a grounded sense of self-worth that supports confidence, resilience, empathy and healthy boundaries. It is very different from pathological narcissism, which is defensive and damaging. This article explains why healthy narcissism matters, how it develops, and why it is essential for emotional health and relationships.
Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it…
Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”…
Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships…
I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life…
Healthy narcissism is a grounded sense of self-worth that supports confidence, resilience, empathy and healthy boundaries. It is very different from pathological narcissism, which is defensive and damaging. This article explains why healthy narcissism matters, how it develops, and why it is essential for emotional health and relationships.
Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it…
Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”…
Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships…
I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life…
Healthy narcissism is a grounded sense of self-worth that supports confidence, resilience, empathy and healthy boundaries. It is very different from pathological narcissism, which is defensive and damaging. This article explains why healthy narcissism matters, how it develops, and why it is essential for emotional health and relationships.
Let’s face it, therapy is hard work. Undertaking the process means facing things that have been sometimes locked away for years. Once you open that door, you are never sure who or what will come through it…
Yesterday, I read an article by a “life coach” who said that silent treatment was justified mostly because your partner “probably deserved it”…
Why do some men turn to porn instead of leaving unhappy relationships? This article explains how codependency can drive secrecy, avoidance, and nervous-system coping, while narcissistic traits are more linked to entitlement and control. Learn how to spot the difference and use a reflection exercise to gain clarity.
Explore the complex aftermath of infidelity and codependency in relationships. Discover paths to healing and rebuilding trust effectively.
The belief that anyone or anything external to you possesses power over you is an illusion. The only reason they can exert power over you is because there are unresolved aspects within you that enable it.
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
Starting the process is easier than you may think. All you need to do is contact me by mail or telephone and arrange the first consultation. This is free and will allow you to present your issues.
Join Dr Jenner and a small group of other participants in a series of totally private six 90-minute online group therapy sessions.
Join me for an audio program dedicated to addressing codependency issues and recovery, offering practical guidance and insights to enrich your journey towards well-being and recovery.
Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
