Helping you understand the patterns that keep you stuck and create meaningful change.
Welcome to The Online Therapist
I’m Dr Nicholas Jenner, a counselling psychotherapist specialising in relationships, codependency, emotional patterns and personal change.
Through therapy, coaching, group programmes and self-help resources, my aim is to help people move from understanding their patterns towards creating meaningful change.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
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Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
Understanding your patterns does not automatically change them. This article explores the difficult journey from awareness to action, looking at codependency, the nervous system, Internal Family Systems and behavioural change, and how practising different responses while tolerating discomfort can gradually turn psychological insight into meaningful and lasting change.
Mindfulness helps us step out of past regrets and future worries by returning attention to the present moment. This article explores how mindful awareness can reduce stress, improve emotional wellbeing, support better sleep, strengthen conflict resolution, and help us make calmer, more conscious choices in relationships and everyday daily life.
Why do some apologies fail to heal relationship wounds? This article explains the difference between saying sorry and making genuine repair. It explores accountability, defensiveness, emotional validation and consistent behavioural change, showing couples how trust can be rebuilt after conflict through understanding, honesty and actions that match their words again.
Why can independence feel frightening after years of codependent relationships? This article explores how attachment patterns, childhood experiences, the nervous system and protective parts can make healthy boundaries feel unsafe. It explains why anxiety can increase during recovery and how greater independence can gradually support healthier connection and personal freedom.
Why is it so difficult to let go of unhealthy relationships? This article explores how childhood attachment, the nervous system and emotional familiarity influence adult attraction. Discover why you may miss the feeling more than the person, and how understanding these patterns can support healthier, more secure relationships.
Why do we keep repeating the same relationship patterns despite choosing different partners? This article explores how childhood experiences, emotional familiarity, and unconscious expectations shape our attractions and choices. Discover why familiar relationships often feel right, how patterns develop, and what it takes to create healthier, lasting connections.
We all have times when everything gets too much. There are many issues to face, things to do, plan and action to be taken. Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed, paralysed and wonder how we will get through…
Many people believe they are grieving a relationship when, in reality, they are mourning the future they imagined. This article explores why we become attached to potential rather than reality, how fantasy shapes emotional pain, and why recognising the difference can be the first step towards genuine healing and healthier relationships.
Many adults avoid conflict not
We all have a past. When two people come together and try to form a relationship, the experiences gained by both play a role. How much of a role depends greatly on the people concerned…
othing is perfect and that goes for relationships too. Even in the best of intimate relationships, there are those subtle and not so subtle signs that harmony is being disrupted…
Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…
When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it…
There are many programs that one can subscribe to in order to recover from a codependent life. All of them offer something different from different angles and theories…
Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem…
Narcissists avoid shame at all costs. It is their nemesis or “kryptonite”, if you want to see it that way. It’s not clear where the roots of narcissism start but generally held opinions point…
Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…
When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it…
There are many programs that one can subscribe to in order to recover from a codependent life. All of them offer something different from different angles and theories…
Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem…
Narcissists avoid shame at all costs. It is their nemesis or “kryptonite”, if you want to see it that way. It’s not clear where the roots of narcissism start but generally held opinions point…
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…
When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it…
There are many programs that one can subscribe to in order to recover from a codependent life. All of them offer something different from different angles and theories…
Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem…
Narcissists avoid shame at all costs. It is their nemesis or “kryptonite”, if you want to see it that way. It’s not clear where the roots of narcissism start but generally held opinions point…
Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…
When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it…
There are many programs that one can subscribe to in order to recover from a codependent life. All of them offer something different from different angles and theories…
Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem…
Narcissists avoid shame at all costs. It is their nemesis or “kryptonite”, if you want to see it that way. It’s not clear where the roots of narcissism start but generally held opinions point…
Therapy as a couple is hard and there are few guarantees. Many factors determine success or failure. Timing, willingness, the right therapist all come into play…
When we start a new relationship, we let a few things go that we might not later. We don’t always set boundaries or recognise so-called ‘red flags’. The adrenaline is just running too high and that is just the way we want it…
There are many programs that one can subscribe to in order to recover from a codependent life. All of them offer something different from different angles and theories…
Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem…
Narcissists avoid shame at all costs. It is their nemesis or “kryptonite”, if you want to see it that way. It’s not clear where the roots of narcissism start but generally held opinions point…
Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem…
There is an old saying that goes “something becomes more attractive if it is unavailable”. This is often the foundation for codependent thinking as they try to connect with their narcissist partner and mirrors the dysfunctional relationship had with caregivers.
Explore the complex aftermath of infidelity and codependency in relationships. Discover paths to healing and rebuilding trust effectively.
It is wrong to assume that if codependency is identified as an issue, the person concerned is codependent with everyone in his or her life…
Starting the process is easier than you may think. All you need to do is contact me by mail or telephone and arrange the first consultation. This is free and will allow you to present your issues.
Join Dr Jenner and a small group of other participants in a series of totally private six 90-minute online group therapy sessions.
Join me for an audio program dedicated to addressing codependency issues and recovery, offering practical guidance and insights to enrich your journey towards well-being and recovery.
Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
