Helping you understand the patterns that keep you stuck and create meaningful change.
Welcome to The Online Therapist
I’m Dr Nicholas Jenner, a counselling psychotherapist specialising in relationships, codependency, emotional patterns and personal change.
Through therapy, coaching, group programmes and self-help resources, my aim is to help people move from understanding their patterns towards creating meaningful change.
When children experience affection and approval after success, they may begin to link achievement with personal worth. This Therapy Short explores parental conditional regard, perfectionism and the fear of disappointing others. It explains how parents can encourage effort and responsibility while ensuring their children feel valued when things go wrong.
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When children experience affection and approval after success, they may begin to link achievement with personal worth. This Therapy Short explores parental conditional regard, perfectionism and the fear of disappointing others. It explains how parents can encourage effort and responsibility while ensuring their children feel valued when things go wrong.
How can you tell when your relationship is in trouble? Dr Nicholas Jenner draws on his experience as a therapist and relationship coach to explain seven recurring patterns, from emotional distance and fading affection to power struggles, contempt and jealousy. He offers practical ways to talk about what’s happening and begin rebuilding closeness and trust.
When your thoughts are going round in circles, a few minutes with nature can offer a change of focus. Dr Nicholas Jenner reflects on walking, gardening and paying attention to the seasons, and suggests ways to make space for nature in everyday life, even when green space is hard to reach.
Why do adult children go no contact with their parents? Explore the reasons behind family estrangement, including emotional neglect, unresolved conflict and differing family expectations. Discover why parents and children remember relationships differently, when cutting contact may be necessary, and whether damaged parent-child relationships can ever be repaired through understanding.
What does a coach in your pocket actually do? Explore how Awareness to Action helps you prepare a boundary, work through overwhelm and turn reflection into a manageable action, then review what happened. Available on iPhone and Android.
Why do you still feel responsible for your ex after separation? Discover how codependency, guilt, attachment patterns and emotional obligations can continue after a relationship ends. Learn why setting boundaries feels difficult, how to recognise unhealthy responsibilities and how to move forward without feeling responsible for your former partner’s happiness.
Mindfulness helps us step out of past regrets and future worries by returning attention to the present moment. This article explores how mindful awareness can reduce stress, improve emotional wellbeing, support better sleep, strengthen conflict resolution, and help us make calmer, more conscious choices in relationships and everyday daily life.
Understanding your patterns does not automatically change them. This article explores the difficult journey from awareness to action, looking at codependency, the nervous system, Internal Family Systems and behavioural change, and how practising different responses while tolerating discomfort can gradually turn psychological insight into meaningful and lasting change.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
Explore how codependency develops through attachment, nervous-system responses and learned relationship patterns, and why awareness alone does not create change. Dr Nicholas Jenner connects his A Further Inquiry interview with his upcoming Codependency: Awareness to Action groups, helping participants move from insight towards boundaries, self-regulation, self-trust and lasting behavioural change.
Knowing something needs to change is not the same as knowing what to do next. Discover how Awareness to Action uses responsive coaching, private journalling and guided practices to help you choose a manageable action. Available now on iPhone and Android, with a fourteen-day trial for eligible new subscribers.
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Narcissists are the archetypal Jekyll and Hyde characters, one way one moment, one way the next…
A clinical exploration of narcissistic and codependent relationships, how both stem from attachment wounds, and what healing through self-leadership requires.
I have worked with codependents for many years and have witnessed first-hand the devastation that occurs when a cruel, self-centred individual breezes in and out of their life…
There is a fine line between meeting your own needs in a healthy sense and expecting to take everything around you…
Anyone who has been through a break-up will testify to the feelings that surround it. Let’s face it, no-one likes being left and in reality, also ending a relationship is not easy. Invariably,…
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
The ideal woman for many men comes straight out of a codependent checklist. Many women are taught from an early age that they have to be a certain “way” around men…
Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example…
What next when your worst nightmare is over? Many codependents who manage to extract themselves from toxic or narcissistic relationships are often left with this question…
Continuing my post on moving on from a bad breakup, let’s look at steps 4 to 6…
Why do narcissists and codependents often form relationships? Explore how these patterns complement each other and how awareness can lead to change.
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Two online therapy groups begin this October with Dr Nicholas Jenner. Codependency: Awareness to Action focuses on turning insight into behavioural change, while Narcissistic Abuse Recovery supports emotional healing, identity restoration and healthier relationships. Both programmes provide structured, small-group therapeutic work delivered online via Zoom.
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies…
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
Many codependents I work with are stuck in relationships that are abusive, unfulfilling and going nowhere. The sad thing is that they are also going nowhere and stay when they know they should logically leave…
Codependency is a complex issue and many therapists doubt its existence. They might agree somewhat with the classic definition of codependency where an enabling partner helps an addict maintain…
If you had the chance to study the way a narcissist behaves in a relationship, you might recognise a distinct pattern. A three stage whirlwind of a relationship that will leave a victim emotionally…
If you had the chance to study the way a narcissist behaves in a relationship, you might recognise a distinct pattern. A three stage whirlwind of a relationship that will leave a victim emotionally…
Codependents generally have an unhealthy focus on the external. In many cases, this focus is on a specific person (usually emotionally unavailable) but it can also be on work, to take an example…
I once had a client who was involved with the most abusive, self-absorbed, self-centred, controlling man you could ever imagine. He abused her physically, emotionally, financially and verbally…
Despite so many people identifying with the symptoms, there are still some who doubt its existence or hold derogatory views against anyone claiming to be codependent. This includes virtually all of the medical profession and indeed, some therapists.
I am unfortunately dealing with a few messy divorce cases at present. I say unfortunately because it is never positive when a marriage breaks down…
ust recently, infidelity in marriages has been a big topic with some of my clients. It has happened and they are struggling with the aftermath of it. Some have separated, some have separated to try to see if there can be a basis for renewal of the relationship…
Among my patient group (and circle of friends), there are people who continually allow others to take advantage of them, continue to give and stay in very toxic relationships. They attempt to make themselves indispensable for their partners (and everyone else) and become the local and family martyr…
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
I deal with many co-dependent people on a daily basis and one factor that is extremely common is the inability to set healthy boundaries…
These days we throw the words “narcissist” and “codependent” around like confetti. It is easy to label someone who appears self-centred as the former and one who gives a little bit too much as the latter.
Codependents love to give. It is what they do, continually. As I have mentioned in previous posts, this giving comes with an element of return…
Why do we repeat behaviours we already understand? Dr Nicholas Jenner explains why insight alone does not create behavioural change and how nervous-system responses and short-term emotional relief keep codependent patterns alive.
Codependency is a complex issue and many therapists doubt its existence. They might agree somewhat with the classic definition of codependency where an enabling partner helps an addict maintain…
There is an old saying that goes “something becomes more attractive if it is unavailable”. This is often the foundation for codependent thinking as they try to connect with their narcissist partner and mirrors the dysfunctional relationship had with caregivers.
Starting the process is easier than you may think. All you need to do is contact me by mail or telephone and arrange the first consultation. This is free and will allow you to present your issues.
Join Dr Jenner and a small group of other participants in a series of totally private six 90-minute online group therapy sessions.
Join me for an audio program dedicated to addressing codependency issues and recovery, offering practical guidance and insights to enrich your journey towards well-being and recovery.
Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
