Welcome to The Online Therapist, where you can explore articles, Therapy Shorts, podcast episodes and resources on codependency, boundaries, narcissistic abuse and more. Use the top menu to browse by theme, or choose Search to use the AI search tool: type a question and it will point you to relevant pages across the site. If you prefer structured guidance, visit Self Help to access the 13-week programme. Contact Dr Jenner directly via Contact or WhatsApp here.
Many adult relationship struggles have their roots in childhood, not romance. This article explores how unresolved relationships with parents, siblings, and caregivers shape attachment, codependency, boundaries, and self-worth. Discover why familiar patterns repeat in adult relationships and how understanding your emotional blueprint can support lasting change.
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Many adult relationship struggles have their roots in childhood, not romance. This article explores how unresolved relationships with parents, siblings, and caregivers shape attachment, codependency, boundaries, and self-worth. Discover why familiar patterns repeat in adult relationships and how understanding your emotional blueprint can support lasting change.
We all have times when everything gets too much. There are many issues to face, things to do, plan and action to be taken. Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed, paralysed and wonder how we will get through…
Why do we keep repeating the same relationship patterns despite choosing different partners? This article explores how childhood experiences, emotional familiarity, and unconscious expectations shape our attractions and choices. Discover why familiar relationships often feel right, how patterns develop, and what it takes to create healthier, lasting connections.
Many people lose themselves in relationships without realising it. This article explores the concept of the false self, how codependency and self-abandonment develop, and why authenticity is essential for healthy relationships. Learn how reconnecting with your true self can improve self-esteem, boundaries, emotional wellbeing, and intimacy.
othing is perfect and that goes for relationships too. Even in the best of intimate relationships, there are those subtle and not so subtle signs that harmony is being disrupted…
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
Change is never easy but we face it every day. For some it is a terrifying experience, for others an opportunity. We all, see it, feel it and deal with in in different ways. How we see it, feel it and deal with it will generally determine how difficult it will be…
Codependency does not only shape relationships. It affects the body as well. Chronic over-responsibility, people-pleasing and emotional vigilance can lead to exhaustion, tension, poor sleep and stress-related symptoms. This article explores how codependency lives in the body, including the role of the nervous system in keeping people stuck.
Journaling is a practical tool for emotional clarity, self-awareness and pattern recognition. This article explores why journaling can support psychological wellbeing, why many people resist it, and how difficulty with journaling often reflects deeper struggles with honesty, emotional expression, perfectionism and self-connection rather than a lack of discipline.
We convince ourselves that we are fine. We keep busy, distract ourselves, and on we go. Yet deep down, we know we are stuck, and all the escape in the world won’t change that. We are stuck in patterns, habits and stories we tell ourselves.
In Therapy Shorts 81, Dr Nicholas Jenner appears on The Good Men Project to discuss codependency recovery. This interview explores how codependent patterns form, why people-pleasing persists, and what healthy boundaries actually look like in real relationships. Practical insights cover self-worth, attachment, and small steps to shift from rescuing to relating.
Codependents often pursue inconsistent and unhealthy partners due to early emotional conditioning, low self-worth, and familiarity with unpredictability. This behavior stems from childhood experiences where love was scarce and complex. Consequently, they overlook emotionally available partners, mistaking stability for dullness, leading to regret for missed opportunities with genuinely loving individuals.
It’s is very often that I come across clients who are obsessed with someone. The level of obsession is so high that it often means that normal life cannot carry on without some form of validation…
In my job, I deal daily with lots of angry people. There are those who are angry about something specific (and sometimes have a right to be) and those who are just angry…
If you enjoy reading the varied articles on my blog The Online Therapist, you will be excited to know that it is now available as an app for both Android and Apple. Please go to the links below to download…
What exactly is a boundary, when it comes to relationships? Simply put, a boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends…
When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less…
It’s is very often that I come across clients who are obsessed with someone. The level of obsession is so high that it often means that normal life cannot carry on without some form of validation…
In my job, I deal daily with lots of angry people. There are those who are angry about something specific (and sometimes have a right to be) and those who are just angry…
If you enjoy reading the varied articles on my blog The Online Therapist, you will be excited to know that it is now available as an app for both Android and Apple. Please go to the links below to download…
What exactly is a boundary, when it comes to relationships? Simply put, a boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends…
When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less…
The media and TV often celebrate people who are “strong”. Especially in the western world, strength is indicative of the ability to get things done, have a mindset of ambition…
If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.
I talk a lot about boundaries. I believe they are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Setting boundaries means being emotionally honest, assertive and it means protecting your emotional
This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.
This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.
It’s is very often that I come across clients who are obsessed with someone. The level of obsession is so high that it often means that normal life cannot carry on without some form of validation…
In my job, I deal daily with lots of angry people. There are those who are angry about something specific (and sometimes have a right to be) and those who are just angry…
If you enjoy reading the varied articles on my blog The Online Therapist, you will be excited to know that it is now available as an app for both Android and Apple. Please go to the links below to download…
What exactly is a boundary, when it comes to relationships? Simply put, a boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends…
When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less…
It’s is very often that I come across clients who are obsessed with someone. The level of obsession is so high that it often means that normal life cannot carry on without some form of validation…
In my job, I deal daily with lots of angry people. There are those who are angry about something specific (and sometimes have a right to be) and those who are just angry…
If you enjoy reading the varied articles on my blog The Online Therapist, you will be excited to know that it is now available as an app for both Android and Apple. Please go to the links below to download…
What exactly is a boundary, when it comes to relationships? Simply put, a boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends…
When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less…
It’s is very often that I come across clients who are obsessed with someone. The level of obsession is so high that it often means that normal life cannot carry on without some form of validation…
In my job, I deal daily with lots of angry people. There are those who are angry about something specific (and sometimes have a right to be) and those who are just angry…
If you enjoy reading the varied articles on my blog The Online Therapist, you will be excited to know that it is now available as an app for both Android and Apple. Please go to the links below to download…
What exactly is a boundary, when it comes to relationships? Simply put, a boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends…
When problems arise in a relationship, couples are often told they need to “communicate” – or talk to each other. If a couple is in crisis, my feeling is that they need to talk more and not less…
I was recently asked by someone to contribute to their thesis. She wrote to me a year after our first contact to suggest that the work that we did together then had been so successful for her that she wanted to make online therapy her subject…
ust recently, infidelity in marriages has been a big topic with some of my clients. It has happened and they are struggling with the aftermath of it. Some have separated, some have separated to try to see if there can be a basis for renewal of the relationship…
A clinical exploration of narcissistic and codependent relationships, how both stem from attachment wounds, and what healing through self-leadership requires.
The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.
Starting the process is easier than you may think. All you need to do is contact me by mail or telephone and arrange the first consultation. This is free and will allow you to present your issues.
Join Dr Jenner and a small group of other participants in a series of totally private six 90-minute online group therapy sessions.
Join me for an audio program dedicated to addressing codependency issues and recovery, offering practical guidance and insights to enrich your journey towards well-being and recovery.
Safe Harbour Therapy And Counselling LTD (2025)
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