THE ONLINE THERAPIST

Mental Health Blog
By Dr Nicholas Jenner

THE ONLINE THERAPIST

Dr Nicholas Jenner

Featured Podcast

Welcome to The Online Therapist blog, dedicated to mental health and emotional wellbeing. I have been writing about these subjects for over two decades, and this site brings together my articles, podcasts, and resources on issues that affect everyday life, including relationships, codependency, narcissistic abuse, parenting, and depression. The top menu has been carefully organised to help you explore these topics more easily and find the support, insight, and guidance most relevant to your needs.

Dr Nicholas Jenner

Counselling Psychotherapist

Therapy Shorts 85: Those Who Say Can’t Usually Mean Won’t

April 9, 2026

How many times have you heard someone say “I can’t change”? If you are like me, you have heard it many times. In most cases, what is really being said is “I won’t change”…

Therapy Shorts 84: Why You Keep Falling For The Wrong People

April 7, 2026

Therapy Shorts 83: How Codependency Lives in the Body

April 1, 2026

Why Codependents Let The Right Person Slip Away

March 31, 2026

Therapy Shorts 82: Want A New Start? Clear Out The Dead Wood First

March 31, 2026

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Introducing The All New Free From Codependency Online Therapy Hub

The Power of Journalling and Why So Many People Struggle With It

Therapy Shorts 81: Codependency on The Good Men Project: Interview with Dr Nicholas Jenner

Therapy Shorts 80: When the Body Won’t Settle: Simple Ways to Regulate the Nervous System

Therapy Shorts 79: Why Codependents Cling to People Who Were Never Really There

Therapy Shorts 78: The Daily Practice of Detaching from Codependency

NEW! THERAPY SHORTS

Popular Posts

Therapy Shorts 85: Those Who Say Can’t Usually Mean Won’t

April 9, 2026

How many times have you heard someone say “I can’t change”? If you are like me, you have heard it many times. In most cases, what is really being said is “I won’t change”…

Therapy Shorts 84: Why You Keep Falling For The Wrong People

April 7, 2026

Why are codependents drawn to emotionally unavailable and inconsistent partners? This article explores how childhood conditioning, low self-worth and nervous system activation shape attraction, causing healthy love to feel unfamiliar. Learn why codependents mistake drama for connection and how recovery begins by judging behaviour, not chemistry.

The Power of Journalling and Why So Many People Struggle With It

April 5, 2026

Journaling is a practical tool for emotional clarity, self-awareness and pattern recognition. This article explores why journaling can support psychological wellbeing, why many people resist it, and how difficulty with journaling often reflects deeper struggles with honesty, emotional expression, perfectionism and self-connection rather than a lack of discipline.

Therapy Shorts 83: How Codependency Lives in the Body

April 2, 2026

Codependency does not only shape relationships. It affects the body as well. Chronic over-responsibility, people-pleasing and emotional vigilance can lead to exhaustion, tension, poor sleep and stress-related symptoms. This article explores how codependency lives in the body, including the role of the nervous system in keeping people stuck.

Therapy Shorts 82: Want A New Start? Clear Out The Dead Wood First

March 31, 2026

Change is never easy but we face it every day. For some it is a terrifying experience, for others an opportunity. We all, see it, feel it and deal with in in different ways. How we see it, feel it and deal with it will generally determine how difficult it will be…

Why Codependents Let The Right Person Slip Away

March 29, 2026

Codependents often pursue inconsistent and unhealthy partners due to early emotional conditioning, low self-worth, and familiarity with unpredictability. This behavior stems from childhood experiences where love was scarce and complex. Consequently, they overlook emotionally available partners, mistaking stability for dullness, leading to regret for missed opportunities with genuinely loving individuals.

2024 is all about Conscious Detachment…

January 2, 2024

How To Assess Your Relationship For The R Factor. The Silent Killer Of Relationships

February 22, 2021

What Our Inner Voices Tell Us… The Bad News Is… We Believe Them!

February 11, 2021

How To Understand What A Porn Addiction Does To A Relationship

January 21, 2021

Therapy Shorts 63: If you have a Self-Centred Person in your life, don’t take this advice

Learn how to navigate a relationship with a narcissist and prioritize your mental health. Discover ways to exit toxic dynamics for good.

ChatGPT Isn’t Therapy: The Quiet Risks of Replacing Human Help with AI

Explore the crucial differences between AI and therapy. Learn why genuine human connection is essential for mental health care.

Therapy Shorts 64: In The Mind Of A Codependent

Explore the destructive cycle of codependency and narcissism. Learn how therapy can guide those challenged by unrealistic relationship expectations.

Therapy Shorts 65: Understanding Your Nervous System: A Guide to Managing Anxiety

Discover practical ways to calm your nervous system and reduce anxiety through breathing, mindfulness, and daily resets.

Therapy Shorts 62: Understanding Codependency: The Push-Pull Dynamic Explained

Discover the dynamics of codependent relationships, their origins, and how to break free from unhealthy patterns and embrace real love.

New Podcast: The Manosphere, Porn, and Consent: How Attitudes Become Relationship Damage

In this episode I connect the wider culture to the private realities couples live with: how learned attitudes shape sexual scripts, and how those scripts can turn pornography into either an escape (often in codependency) or a sign of entitlement (often where narcissistic traits are present).

Therapy Shorts 77: What Are We Teaching Boys About Women?

Therapy Shorts 76: Living with a Codependent Man Who Uses Porn Instead of Dealing With the Relationship

Why Codependent Men Might Turn to Porn But Narcissists Probably Will

Therapy Shorts 75: Why Codependents Choose Narcissists and Convince Themselves It’s Love

Therapy Shorts 74: Living With a Codependent: Why It Can Feel Suffocating and What Actually Helps

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explore popular posts

Are We Incompatible? Can You Really Love Someone So Different To You?

What is Avoidant Codependency?

Should your partner or spouse be part of your individual therapy and how?

The Concept of Individuality in a Relationship and Why it is Essential

Adult Issues We Should Not Be Talking To Our Children About

Narcissist Abuse Syndrome: Elements of Stockholm Syndrome and PTSD

What Does Porn Addiction Do To A Relationship?

Two Codependents Will Also Find A Relationship Difficult

Narcissists And “Magical Thinking”: An Avoidance Of Shame

Narcissists avoid shame at all costs. It is their nemesis or “kryptonite”, if you want to see it that way. It’s not clear where the roots of narcissism start but generally held opinions point…

The Basis Of The Inner Critic

Depression teaches us that we are not deserving of a normal, fruitful life. We go through long periods of believing that there is something inherently wrong with us. One of the major factors in this process is the formation of an inner critic which is a major underlying cause of depression and low self-esteem…

Therapy Shorts 63: If you have a Self-Centred Person in your life, don’t take this advice

Learn how to navigate a relationship with a narcissist and prioritize your mental health. Discover ways to exit toxic dynamics for good.

Exploring the Intricacies of Vulnerable Narcissism

The internal life of a vulnerable narcissist is a battlefield of self-doubt and imagined superiority.

Why You Can’t Let Go Of That Narcissist

I have lost count of the amount of times I have been asked by desperate clients why they cannot let go of an abuser and a narcissist. It seems that they have been injected by some form of drug that has formed an addiction and no amount of logic, common sense or realism will help them…

Narcissists And “Magical Thinking”: An Avoidance Of Shame

The Basis Of The Inner Critic

Therapy Shorts 63: If you have a Self-Centred Person in your life, don’t take this advice

Learn how to navigate a relationship with a narcissist and prioritize your mental health. Discover ways to exit toxic dynamics for good.

Exploring the Intricacies of Vulnerable Narcissism

The internal life of a vulnerable narcissist is a battlefield of self-doubt and imagined superiority.

Why You Can’t Let Go Of That Narcissist

Therapy Shorts 73: Why Familiar Pain Feels Like Love

Therapy Shorts 72: Stop Calling It Chemistry: When “Urgent” Is Just Your Nervous System

Stop Trying to Heal Alone: The Community Move That Breaks Codependency for Good

How Childhood Trauma Shapes Codependency and Affects the Nervous System

Therapy Shorts 71: Boundaries Build Bridges… Don’t Be Afraid To Set Them

Popular Categories

INNER CHILD THERAPY

CODEPENDENCY ISSUES

COUPLES THERAPY

PARENTING ADVICE

Therapy Shorts 70: The Boundary That Works Is the One You Can Keep

Practical Boundaries: How to Set Them, Say Them, and Stick to Them

Therapy Shorts 69: Loneliness, ‘Solutionships’, and the Work of Aloneness

Therapy Shorts 68: Why You Keep Being Attracted to the Wrong People

If You Keep Choosing Distant Partners, It’s Not Romance, It’s Repetition

Join Our Next Round
of Online Group Therapy

Free From Codependency

Starting November 9th, 2025

Registration is now closed

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Starting November 9th, 2025

Registration is now closed

EXPLORE POPULAR POSTS

Are We Incompatible? Can You Really Love Someone So Different To You?

What is Avoidant Codependency?

Should your partner or spouse be part of your individual therapy and how?

The Concept of Individuality in a Relationship and Why it is Essential

Adult Issues We Should Not Be Talking To Our Children About

Narcissist Abuse Syndrome: Elements of Stockholm Syndrome and PTSD

What Does Porn Addiction Do To A Relationship?

Two Codependents Will Also Find A Relationship Difficult

Why Codependent Men Might Turn to Porn But Narcissists Probably Will

Why do some men turn to porn instead of leaving unhappy relationships? This article explains how codependency can drive secrecy, avoidance, and nervous-system coping, while narcissistic traits are more linked to entitlement and control. Learn how to spot the difference and use a reflection exercise to gain clarity.

Infidelity and Codependency: Why Cheating Isn’t the End of the Story (and How Couples Really Respond)

Explore the complex aftermath of infidelity and codependency in relationships. Discover paths to healing and rebuilding trust effectively.

Therapy Shorts 63: If you have a Self-Centred Person in your life, don’t take this advice

Learn how to navigate a relationship with a narcissist and prioritize your mental health. Discover ways to exit toxic dynamics for good.

Therapy Shorts 57: Narcissistic and Codependent Relationships: Two Sides of the Same Wound

A clinical exploration of narcissistic and codependent relationships, how both stem from attachment wounds, and what healing through self-leadership requires.

The Real Question Isn’t ‘Will They Change?’ It’s Why Are You Staying?

If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.