For Codependency, read loneliness.

  • Post author:

Codependents are generally believed to crave relationship status and are also believed to struggle profusely when not in one. In spite of the fact that they are participating in a partnership that is beneficial to both parties, individuals who are codependent in their romantic relationships may frequently experience feelings of isolation. This is the case even though they are part of a relationship that might, in effect, provide them with support. People who have tendencies towards codependency frequently demonstrate a significant dependence on their significant others for the purposes of validating themselves, boosting their self-esteem, and maintaining psychological equilibrium. Even though the individuals may be physically involved in the relationship, their emotional needs are frequently not being met, which results in a feeling of separation and isolation.

I know from my own experience of codependency that this isolation and feeling of loneliness can be crippling. I often expressed exactly what people wanted to hear (or so I thought) and felt being emotionally honest about how I really felt would lead to a breakup. This left these feelings with me to cope with and I can remember many hours berating myself and blaming others for my inabilities concerning communication.With no-one to turn to, I went inwards and buried those thoughts and moved on, all the while building resentment, that often spewed out eventually in an inappropriate outburst or passive aggressive behaviour.

In a romantic relationship, the experience of feeling alone can arise even when both partners are supportive of each other due to the presence of codependency. People who display codependent tendencies may rely heavily on their partners for validation, self-worth, and emotional stability. Despite being physically involved in a relationship, emotional needs may often go unmet, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Codependents often experience solitude due to their tendency to prioritise the needs of their significant other above their own. It is common for people to prioritise their partner’s desires over their own personal goals and preferences. Engaging in such behaviour may lead individuals to disconnect from their sense of self, personal interests, and community ties, which can result in a deep sense of emptiness and isolation.

Individuals with codependency tendencies exhibit a proclivity to place significant reliance on their partner’s affirmation and validation as a means of bolstering their own self-worth. Some people may have a tendency to constantly seek validation and confirmation from their partner. Without proper validation, one might feel inadequate and as though their affection is not being returned. Individuals who constantly seek external validation may become vulnerable as they rely on their partner’s perception of their value. Having a partner who is emotionally distant or unresponsive can intensify feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Additionally, people who exhibit codependent tendencies may often face challenges in setting healthy boundaries in their relationships with others. Some people may feel anxious about the possibility of rejection or abandonment, which can lead them to compromise their own needs and boundaries in order to maintain the relationship. A possible result of this situation is that individuals may feel like they have insufficient personal space and autonomy, leading to feelings of suffocation and disconnection from both themselves and those around them. Without clear boundaries, individuals may find it difficult to distinguish their own sense of self from that of their partner, which can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Individuals who display codependent tendencies may find themselves in romantic relationships with emotionally aloof or narcissistic partners in some cases. It’s possible that these associates may not be able or willing to meet the emotional needs of the codependent person, which could lead to feelings of worthlessness and neglect. Despite being in a romantic partnership, a person who is codependent may still feel emotionally abandoned, which can make them feel even more alone.

To prevent feelings of loneliness in a codependent relationship, it’s crucial for both partners to recognise and prioritise their own needs and well-being. Developing a self-concept that is independent of one’s partner’s validation is crucial. Developing a more fulfilling life involves creating a social network outside of a romantic relationship, pursuing personal interests, and maintaining healthy boundaries.

Subscribe to Dr Jenner's Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 5,493 other subscribers


Dr. Nicholas Jenner, a therapist, coach, and speaker, has over 20 years of experience in the field of therapy and coaching. His specialty lies in treating codependency, a condition that is often characterized by a compulsive dependence on a partner, friend, or family member for emotional or psychological sustenance. Dr. Jenner's approach to treating codependency involves using Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, a treatment method that has gained widespread popularity in recent years. He identifies the underlying causes of codependent behavior by exploring his patients' internal "parts," or their different emotional states, to develop strategies to break free from it. Dr. Jenner has authored numerous works on the topic and offers online therapy services to assist individuals in developing healthy relationships and achieving emotional independence.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.