THE ONLINE THERAPIST

Mental Health Blog
By Dr Nicholas Jenner

THE ONLINE THERAPIST

Dr Nicholas Jenner

Featured Podcast

Welcome to The Online Therapist blog, dedicated to mental health and emotional wellbeing. I have been writing about these subjects for over two decades, and this site brings together my articles, podcasts, and resources on issues that affect everyday life, including relationships, codependency, narcissistic abuse, parenting, and depression. The top menu has been carefully organised to help you explore these topics more easily and find the support, insight, and guidance most relevant to your needs.

Dr Nicholas Jenner

Counselling Psychotherapist

Therapy Shorts 82: Want A New Start? Clear Out The Dead Wood First

March 31, 2026

Change is never easy but we face it every day. For some it is a terrifying experience, for others an opportunity. We all, see it, feel it and deal with in in different ways. How we see it, feel it and deal with it will generally determine how difficult it

Why Codependents Let The Right Person Slip Away

March 31, 2026

How Childhood Trauma Shapes Codependency and Affects the Nervous System

March 30, 2026

Therapy Shorts 81: Codependency on The Good Men Project: Interview with Dr Nicholas Jenner

March 25, 2026

Therapy Shorts 79: Why Codependents Cling to People Who Were Never Really There

March 16, 2026

Break Free from Codependency:
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Group Therapy for Codependency Recovery starts again on 29 March 2026 (via Zoom), with free access to Dr Jenner’s Codependency Self-Help Programme (value $390 USD).

Introducing The All New Free From Codependency Online Therapy Hub

Therapy Shorts 80: When the Body Won’t Settle: Simple Ways to Regulate the Nervous System

Therapy Shorts 78: The Daily Practice of Detaching from Codependency

New Podcast: The Manosphere, Porn, and Consent: How Attitudes Become Relationship Damage

Therapy Shorts 77: What Are We Teaching Boys About Women?

Therapy Shorts 76: Living with a Codependent Man Who Uses Porn Instead of Dealing With the Relationship

NEW! THERAPY SHORTS

Popular Posts

Therapy Shorts 82: Want A New Start? Clear Out The Dead Wood First

March 31, 2026

Why Codependents Let The Right Person Slip Away

March 29, 2026

Codependents often pursue inconsistent and unhealthy partners due to early emotional conditioning, low self-worth, and familiarity with unpredictability. This behavior stems from childhood experiences where love was scarce and complex. Consequently, they overlook emotionally available partners, mistaking stability for dullness, leading to regret for missed opportunities with genuinely loving individuals.

Therapy Shorts 81: Codependency on The Good Men Project: Interview with Dr Nicholas Jenner

March 26, 2026

In Therapy Shorts 81, Dr Nicholas Jenner appears on The Good Men Project to discuss codependency recovery. This interview explores how codependent patterns form, why people-pleasing persists, and what healthy boundaries actually look like in real relationships. Practical insights cover self-worth, attachment, and small steps to shift from rescuing to relating.

Therapy Shorts 80: When the Body Won’t Settle: Simple Ways to Regulate the Nervous System

March 24, 2026

Nervous system regulation is not a trend or quick fix. It is the gradual process of helping the body feel safe enough to come out of survival mode. This article explores simple, effective ways to regulate the nervous system through breath, routine, boundaries, rest, movement and steady daily practice.

Accountability, Repair, Consistency: The Real Work After Conflict and Why Codependents and Narcissists Find This Difficult

March 22, 2026

Conflict is not what damages relationships most. It is the failure to repair afterwards. This article explores the three essentials of healthy conflict repair, accountability, repair and consistency, and explains why narcissists resist this process while codependents often over-function within it, hoping for change that never fully arrives.

Therapy Shorts 79: Why Codependents Cling to People Who Were Never Really There

March 19, 2026

Break-ups can feel devastating for codependents because the loss is not just of a partner, but of identity, purpose and emotional stability. This article explores why codependents struggle to let go, why they chase unhealthy partners, and how healing begins through boundaries, self-focus, grief work and emotional recovery.

2024 is all about Conscious Detachment…

January 2, 2024

How To Assess Your Relationship For The R Factor. The Silent Killer Of Relationships

February 22, 2021

What Our Inner Voices Tell Us… The Bad News Is… We Believe Them!

February 11, 2021

How To Understand What A Porn Addiction Does To A Relationship

January 21, 2021

Why Codependent Men Might Turn to Porn But Narcissists Probably Will

Why do some men turn to porn instead of leaving unhappy relationships? This article explains how codependency can drive secrecy, avoidance, and nervous-system coping, while narcissistic traits are more linked to entitlement and control. Learn how to spot the difference and use a reflection exercise to gain clarity.

Therapy Shorts 63: If you have a Self-Centred Person in your life, don’t take this advice

Learn how to navigate a relationship with a narcissist and prioritize your mental health. Discover ways to exit toxic dynamics for good.

ChatGPT Isn’t Therapy: The Quiet Risks of Replacing Human Help with AI

Explore the crucial differences between AI and therapy. Learn why genuine human connection is essential for mental health care.

Therapy Shorts 61: The Role of Thinking Parts in Mental Health

Explore therapeutic approaches to understanding the mind and personality, focusing on CBT and the multiplicity of thinking parts in recovery.

Breaking Free from Social Media Addiction.When Social Media Stops Being a Choice

Explore the impact of social media on mental health, sleep, and personal relationships, and learn strategies to regain control of your usage.

Therapy Shorts 64: In The Mind Of A Codependent

Explore the destructive cycle of codependency and narcissism. Learn how therapy can guide those challenged by unrealistic relationship expectations.

Therapy Shorts 75: Why Codependents Choose Narcissists and Convince Themselves It’s Love

Therapy Shorts 74: Living With a Codependent: Why It Can Feel Suffocating and What Actually Helps

Therapy Shorts 73: Why Familiar Pain Feels Like Love

Therapy Shorts 72: Stop Calling It Chemistry: When “Urgent” Is Just Your Nervous System

Stop Trying to Heal Alone: The Community Move That Breaks Codependency for Good

Join Our Next Round
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explore popular posts

Are We Incompatible? Can You Really Love Someone So Different To You?

What is Avoidant Codependency?

Should your partner or spouse be part of your individual therapy and how?

The Concept of Individuality in a Relationship and Why it is Essential

Adult Issues We Should Not Be Talking To Our Children About

Narcissist Abuse Syndrome: Elements of Stockholm Syndrome and PTSD

What Does Porn Addiction Do To A Relationship?

Two Codependents Will Also Find A Relationship Difficult

Codependency: Emotional Manipulators – The Case For Locking The Door

I have seen many times a situation that is very frustrating for me as a therapist. Working with codependents, it is often advisable to ensure their recovery…

Group Therapy Sessions Starting Again July 27th 2025 Plus Free Access To Dr Jenner’s Codependency Self-Help Program (worth 390 USD)

Codependency recovery is deeply personal, but it doesn’t have to be done alone. In fact, group therapy has the potential to transform the healing journey in profound ways. While individual therapy offers valuable insight, something truly powerful happens when people come together with shared experiences and open hearts.

How Vulnerable Narcissists Manipulate Relationships

The emotional and mental toll of being close to a vulnerable narcissist can be substantial. Narcissists who are vulnerable do not project an air of superiority, charisma, or confidence that their more overtly narcissistic counterparts do. On the contrary, they tend to come across as timid, sensitive, nervous, or even self-deprecating. This approachable demeanour has the power to captivate those around them, particularly those with a compassionate nature, a nurturing spirit, or a deep longing to assist and heal others.

Emotional Incest Or Invasive Parenting… Call It What You Will, It Is A Terrible Form Of Child Abuse

Can you imagine what it is like for a child who is trying to work out how the world works, being dragged into the adult world before they are ready…

A Childhood Guaranteed To Foster Codependency

It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol…

Codependency: Emotional Manipulators – The Case For Locking The Door

I have seen many times a situation that is very frustrating for me as a therapist. Working with codependents, it is often advisable to ensure their recovery…

Group Therapy Sessions Starting Again July 27th 2025 Plus Free Access To Dr Jenner’s Codependency Self-Help Program (worth 390 USD)

How Vulnerable Narcissists Manipulate Relationships

Emotional Incest Or Invasive Parenting… Call It What You Will, It Is A Terrible Form Of Child Abuse

Can you imagine what it is like for a child who is trying to work out how the world works, being dragged into the adult world before they are ready…

A Childhood Guaranteed To Foster Codependency

It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol…

Therapy Shorts 71: Boundaries Build Bridges… Don’t Be Afraid To Set Them

Therapy Shorts 70: The Boundary That Works Is the One You Can Keep

Practical Boundaries: How to Set Them, Say Them, and Stick to Them

Therapy Shorts 69: Loneliness, ‘Solutionships’, and the Work of Aloneness

Therapy Shorts 68: Why You Keep Being Attracted to the Wrong People

Popular Categories

INNER CHILD THERAPY

CODEPENDENCY ISSUES

COUPLES THERAPY

PARENTING ADVICE

If You Keep Choosing Distant Partners, It’s Not Romance, It’s Repetition

Therapy Shorts 67: Codependency After Cheating: Why Some People Stay, Suffer, and Call It Love

Therapy Shorts 66: After Infidelity: The Three Roads Couples Take (and the One Most End Up On)

Infidelity and Codependency: Why Cheating Isn’t the End of the Story (and How Couples Really Respond)

Therapy Shorts 65: Understanding Your Nervous System: A Guide to Managing Anxiety

Join Our Next Round
of Online Group Therapy

Free From Codependency

Starting November 9th, 2025

Registration is now closed

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Starting November 9th, 2025

Registration is now closed

EXPLORE POPULAR POSTS

Are We Incompatible? Can You Really Love Someone So Different To You?

What is Avoidant Codependency?

Should your partner or spouse be part of your individual therapy and how?

The Concept of Individuality in a Relationship and Why it is Essential

Adult Issues We Should Not Be Talking To Our Children About

Narcissist Abuse Syndrome: Elements of Stockholm Syndrome and PTSD

What Does Porn Addiction Do To A Relationship?

Two Codependents Will Also Find A Relationship Difficult

Why Codependent Men Might Turn to Porn But Narcissists Probably Will

Infidelity and Codependency: Why Cheating Isn’t the End of the Story (and How Couples Really Respond)

Explore the complex aftermath of infidelity and codependency in relationships. Discover paths to healing and rebuilding trust effectively.

Therapy Shorts 63: If you have a Self-Centred Person in your life, don’t take this advice

Learn how to navigate a relationship with a narcissist and prioritize your mental health. Discover ways to exit toxic dynamics for good.

Therapy Shorts 57: Narcissistic and Codependent Relationships: Two Sides of the Same Wound

A clinical exploration of narcissistic and codependent relationships, how both stem from attachment wounds, and what healing through self-leadership requires.

The Real Question Isn’t ‘Will They Change?’ It’s Why Are You Staying?

If we are honest, clinically and theoretically, this type of person can change. Narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum and with long term intervention by a skilled therapist, some individuals can develop more self-awareness, emotional regulation and a degree of empathy. However, in practice, the theory doesn’t usually work because such people are very resistant to the process required to make change happen.

Codependency: Emotional Manipulators – The Case For Locking The Door

I have seen many times a situation that is very frustrating for me as a therapist. Working with codependents, it is often advisable to ensure their recovery…

Group Therapy Sessions Starting Again July 27th 2025 Plus Free Access To Dr Jenner’s Codependency Self-Help Program (worth 390 USD)

How Vulnerable Narcissists Manipulate Relationships

Emotional Incest Or Invasive Parenting… Call It What You Will, It Is A Terrible Form Of Child Abuse

Can you imagine what it is like for a child who is trying to work out how the world works, being dragged into the adult world before they are ready…

A Childhood Guaranteed To Foster Codependency

It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol…

Codependency: Emotional Manipulators – The Case For Locking The Door

I have seen many times a situation that is very frustrating for me as a therapist. Working with codependents, it is often advisable to ensure their recovery…

Group Therapy Sessions Starting Again July 27th 2025 Plus Free Access To Dr Jenner’s Codependency Self-Help Program (worth 390 USD)

How Vulnerable Narcissists Manipulate Relationships

Emotional Incest Or Invasive Parenting… Call It What You Will, It Is A Terrible Form Of Child Abuse

Can you imagine what it is like for a child who is trying to work out how the world works, being dragged into the adult world before they are ready…

A Childhood Guaranteed To Foster Codependency

It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol…

Codependency: Emotional Manipulators – The Case For Locking The Door

I have seen many times a situation that is very frustrating for me as a therapist. Working with codependents, it is often advisable to ensure their recovery…

Group Therapy Sessions Starting Again July 27th 2025 Plus Free Access To Dr Jenner’s Codependency Self-Help Program (worth 390 USD)

How Vulnerable Narcissists Manipulate Relationships

Emotional Incest Or Invasive Parenting… Call It What You Will, It Is A Terrible Form Of Child Abuse

Can you imagine what it is like for a child who is trying to work out how the world works, being dragged into the adult world before they are ready…

A Childhood Guaranteed To Foster Codependency

It has been said that a large part of the global population is codependent on something or somebody. That something could be work, substances, alcohol…

Therapy Shorts 62: Understanding Codependency: The Push-Pull Dynamic Explained

Therapy Shorts 60: After a Bad Breakup: Practical Steps That Actually Help

When Love Turns Into Panic: The Three Projects That Quietly Ruin Relationships.

Therapy Shorts 59: Conscious Detachment: The Missing Ingredient in Modern Relationships

One Year Older, One Year Wiser About Life

POPULAR CATEGORIES

INNER CHILD THERAPY

FREE FROM CODEPENDENCY

COUPLES THERAPY

PARENTING ADVICE

Therapy Shorts 58: How to Cope With Difficult Family Dynamics At Christmas

Do More, Not Less: A Different Kind of New Year

Therapy Shorts 56: Understanding the Narcissistic Relationship Cycle: From Adulation to Discard

Nostalgia, Ageing & Living Alone at Christmas and Year’s End

Therapy Shorts 55: How to Heal Attachment Wounds: A Roadmap to Recovery

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