SELF-HELP Archives

A sparrow breaks free from a chain as the sun sets over a mountainous coastline.

Therapy Shorts 90: Not Every Difficult Ex Is a Narcissist. Sometimes You Were Just Addicted to Chaos

This article challenges the habit of labelling every difficult ex as a narcissist and explores whether the deeper issue may be an attachment to chaos. It examines codependency, emotional intensity, nervous system familiarity, and the tendency to mistake instability for connection, chemistry, or meaningful love in adult relationships.

Therapy Shorts 89: Discipline And Responsibility Are The Keys To Happiness

About two years ago, I wrote a rather philosophical post pontificating about What Do We Need to Make us Happy? As I generally do, I placed this article on various websites for people to read and comment...

A sparrow breaks free from a chain as the sun sets over a mountainous coastline.

Therapy Shorts 88: Why Leaving a Narcissist Can Feel Like Betrayal

This article explains why leaving a narcissistic relationship can feel like betrayal for codependent people. It explores guilt, loyalty, trauma bonding, hope, emotional responsibility, and the fear of abandoning someone difficult, while showing how leaving can be an act of self-protection rather than cruelty.

Two stones balanced on the sandy beach with ocean waves in the background

Healthy vs Pathological Narcissism: What You Need to Know

Healthy narcissism is a grounded sense of self-worth that supports confidence, resilience, empathy and healthy boundaries. It is very different from pathological narcissism, which is defensive and damaging. This article explains why healthy narcissism matters, how it develops, and why it is essential for emotional health and relationships.

Therapy Shorts 84: Why You Keep Falling For The Wrong People

Why are codependents drawn to emotionally unavailable and inconsistent partners? This article explores how childhood conditioning, low self-worth and nervous system activation shape attraction, causing healthy love to feel unfamiliar. Learn why codependents mistake drama for connection and how recovery begins by judging behaviour, not chemistry.

The Power of Journalling and Why So Many People Struggle With It

Journaling is a practical tool for emotional clarity, self-awareness and pattern recognition. This article explores why journaling can support psychological wellbeing, why many people resist it, and how difficulty with journaling often reflects deeper struggles with honesty, emotional expression, perfectionism and self-connection rather than a lack of discipline.

Therapy Shorts 81: Codependency on The Good Men Project: Interview with Dr Nicholas Jenner

In Therapy Shorts 81, Dr Nicholas Jenner appears on The Good Men Project to discuss codependency recovery. This interview explores how codependent patterns form, why people-pleasing persists, and what healthy boundaries actually look like in real relationships. Practical insights cover self-worth, attachment, and small steps to shift from rescuing to relating.

Therapy Shorts 80: When the Body Won’t Settle: Simple Ways to Regulate the Nervous System

Nervous system regulation is not a trend or quick fix. It is the gradual process of helping the body feel safe enough to come out of survival mode. This article explores simple, effective ways to regulate the nervous system through breath, routine, boundaries, rest, movement and steady daily practice.

Read more about the article Accountability, Repair, Consistency: The Real Work After Conflict and Why Codependents and Narcissists Find This Difficult

Accountability, Repair, Consistency: The Real Work After Conflict and Why Codependents and Narcissists Find This Difficult

Conflict is not what damages relationships most. It is the failure to repair afterwards. This article explores the three essentials of healthy conflict repair, accountability, repair and consistency, and explains why narcissists resist this process while codependents often over-function within it, hoping for change that never fully arrives.

Therapy Shorts 79: Why Codependents Cling to People Who Were Never Really There

Break-ups can feel devastating for codependents because the loss is not just of a partner, but of identity, purpose and emotional stability. This article explores why codependents struggle to let go, why they chase unhealthy partners, and how healing begins through boundaries, self-focus, grief work and emotional recovery.