Dr Nicholas Jenner, Author at THE ONLINE THERAPIST

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The Part of You That Cannot Leave: An IFS View of Codependent Relationships

Why do people remain in relationships that repeatedly hurt them? This article uses an IFS perspective to explore the protective parts behind codependent attachment, including fear, guilt, hope and responsibility. It explains why leaving can feel dangerous and how compassionate self-leadership can eventually support clearer, healthier and more authentic choices.

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Therapy Shorts 106: What Comes After the Honeymoon Phase?

Many people fear the end of the honeymoon phase, believing it signals the end of love. This article explores why the transition is a natural part of healthy relationships, how emotional intimacy replaces early excitement, and why lasting love is built on trust, compatibility and choice rather than passion alone.

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Why Chemistry Isn’t Enough for Lasting Love

The honeymoon phase is often seen as the most exciting stage of a relationship, but it can also distort judgement and encourage premature decisions. This article explores the psychology behind early romantic love, why chemistry differs from compatibility, and how time—not intensity—reveals the true foundations of lasting relationships.

A couple sits apart on a couch, both looking upset in a dimly lit living room.

Therapy Shorts 105: The Unclear Boundaries of Emotional Cheating

Emotional cheating can be difficult to define because no physical boundary may have been crossed. This article explores when friendship becomes betrayal, why secrecy matters, how emotional energy shifts outside a relationship, and the questions couples can ask when deciding whether trust has been broken and whether it can return.

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Can Two People Ever Truly Know One Another?

Can two people ever truly know one another? This article explores the limits of understanding in relationships, revealing how assumptions, personal history and curiosity shape emotional connection. Learn why lasting relationships depend less on certainty and more on continual discovery, open communication and a willingness to keep learning together.

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Therapy Shorts 104: What Is a Relationship For?

What is a relationship really for? This thought-provoking article explores the deeper purpose of intimate relationships, arguing that they are not simply sources of happiness but opportunities for self-awareness, emotional growth and personal development. Discover how relationships reveal who we are and who we can become.

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Therapy Shorts 103: When a Relationship Becomes Your Identity

Can a relationship become your identity? This article explores how losing your sense of self within a partnership can affect confidence, boundaries and emotional wellbeing. Discover the difference between healthy connection and unhealthy dependence, and why maintaining your individuality is essential for lasting, fulfilling relationships.

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The Relationship That Only Works When One Person Is Struggling

Some relationships feel strongest during crisis because one partner becomes the rescuer and the other remains dependent. This article explores how recovery, confidence and independence can unsettle that balance, revealing whether love can survive without fixed roles of carer and cared-for, and whether equality can replace emotional dependency safely.

Therapy Shorts 101: The Three Projects That Quietly Ruin Relationships.

Explore the complexities of relationships entering 2026, covering love, compatibility, and the importance of personal identity.

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Couples Who Never Fight and Why That Isn’t Always Good News

Many people believe that couples who never argue have the healthiest relationships. This article explores why the absence of conflict is not always a sign of emotional wellbeing, revealing how silence, avoidance and self-abandonment can replace honest communication, and why psychological safety matters more than perfect harmony.