Dr Nicholas Jenner, Author at THE ONLINE THERAPIST

Luminous waves ripple beneath a star-filled sky in this vibrant cosmic seascape.

Awareness Is Not Action: How to Move From Knowing to Doing

Understanding your patterns does not automatically change them. This article explores the difficult journey from awareness to action, looking at codependency, the nervous system, Internal Family Systems and behavioural change, and how practising different responses while tolerating discomfort can gradually turn psychological insight into meaningful and lasting change.

A winding path through a misty forest surrounded by autumn greenery

Therapy Shorts 110: Take a Moment to Be Mindful

Mindfulness helps us step out of past regrets and future worries by returning attention to the present moment. This article explores how mindful awareness can reduce stress, improve emotional wellbeing, support better sleep, strengthen conflict resolution, and help us make calmer, more conscious choices in relationships and everyday daily life.

A comfortable living room corner featuring armchairs, a lamp, and a bookshelf at dusk

Therapy Shorts 109: An Apology Is Not the Same as Repair

Why do some apologies fail to heal relationship wounds? This article explains the difference between saying sorry and making genuine repair. It explores accountability, defensiveness, emotional validation and consistent behavioural change, showing couples how trust can be rebuilt after conflict through understanding, honesty and actions that match their words again.

A close-up of large, twisted tree roots exposed in soil.

When Independence Feels More Dangerous Than Dependence

Why can independence feel frightening after years of codependent relationships? This article explores how attachment patterns, childhood experiences, the nervous system and protective parts can make healthy boundaries feel unsafe. It explains why anxiety can increase during recovery and how greater independence can gradually support healthier connection and personal freedom.

Blue and orange glowing light strands intricately knotted in space

Therapy Shorts 108: We Don’t Miss the Person. We Miss the Feeling They Created.

Why is it so difficult to let go of unhealthy relationships? This article explores how childhood attachment, the nervous system and emotional familiarity influence adult attraction. Discover why you may miss the feeling more than the person, and how understanding these patterns can support healthier, more secure relationships.

A close-up view of a glass pane with a spiderweb pattern crack originating from a central impact point.

Therapy Shorts 107: The Child Who Never Learnt to Disagree

Many adults avoid conflict not because they are naturally agreeable, but because they learnt early that disagreement threatened connection. Conflict avoidance is often a protective response: staying quiet once helped…

Translucent figures join hands in a glowing circle of energy.

The Part of You That Cannot Leave: An IFS View of Codependent Relationships

Why do people remain in relationships that repeatedly hurt them? This article uses an IFS perspective to explore the protective parts behind codependent attachment, including fear, guilt, hope and responsibility. It explains why leaving can feel dangerous and how compassionate self-leadership can eventually support clearer, healthier and more authentic choices.

A unique tree blooms pink flowers on one side and green leaves on the other beside a flowing stream.

Therapy Shorts 106: What Comes After the Honeymoon Phase?

Many people fear the end of the honeymoon phase, believing it signals the end of love. This article explores why the transition is a natural part of healthy relationships, how emotional intimacy replaces early excitement, and why lasting love is built on trust, compatibility and choice rather than passion alone.

A couple strolls hand in hand along the beach during sunset, enjoying a peaceful moment.

Why Chemistry Isn’t Enough for Lasting Love

The honeymoon phase is often seen as the most exciting stage of a relationship, but it can also distort judgement and encourage premature decisions. This article explores the psychology behind early romantic love, why chemistry differs from compatibility, and how time—not intensity—reveals the true foundations of lasting relationships.

A couple sits apart on a couch, both looking upset in a dimly lit living room.

Therapy Shorts 105: The Unclear Boundaries of Emotional Cheating

Emotional cheating can be difficult to define because no physical boundary may have been crossed. This article explores when friendship becomes betrayal, why secrecy matters, how emotional energy shifts outside a relationship, and the questions couples can ask when deciding whether trust has been broken and whether it can return.