Let’s Talk About Counter-Dependency: It’s Not Narcissism

Have you ever wondered what’s up with the man who spends all his time in the office instead of with his partner? Or that girl who never has a relationship longer than six months before she ends it and runs away? They could be counter-dependent and fear commitment and intimacy. They are on the other end of the spectrum to a codependent.

People are becoming more and more aware of the general symptoms of codependency. As this awareness increases, so the chances of recovering to a healthy place increase as well. Codependency is one of the consequences of the failure of one of the most important developmental processes, completion of the bonding process with caregivers. This causes the very typical codependent behaviours that are quite easy to recognise. A list of these behaviours is listed on What Is Codependency“.

Counter-dependency signs can include a fear of intimacy, commitment and a resistance to monogamy.

Read the full article here on my Free From Codependency Online Therapy Hub.

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Dr. Nicholas Jenner

Dr. Nicholas Jenner is a counseling psychotherapist in online private practice working with individuals, couples and groups, dealing with codependency issues, severe depression, bipolar, personality disorders, anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders and other mental health issues. He has been practicing online for many years and recognized early that online therapy was a convenient method for people to meet their therapist. Working outside the box, he goes that extra mile to make sure clients have access to help between sessions, something that is greatly appreciated. He also gives part of his spare time up to mentor psychology students in a university setting.

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  1. If codependency is the extreme one way and counter-dependent the other, then I seem to fit between the two.

    I am a complete walking contradiction. A paradox.

    Whatever I feel one way, I will feel the complete opposite of that also it seems.

    For example:

    I want to be close, but keep your distance.

    I want connection, but not intimacy.

    I need you but I don’t want to need anyone.

    I love you but can’t love anyone.

    I hate you but don’t leave me.

    I want space, but need you nearby.

    And also:

    I am faithful yet detached.

    I am committed yet relaxed.

    I love everyone and also no-one.

    I am sociable but a loner.

    I am gentle yet tough.

    I am passionate but platonic.

    I am codependent and counter-dependent.