The Anatomy Of A Shamed Codependent: Day 4

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Analysis Day 4: As William moves towards his teenage years, he enters what is termed as the counter dependent stage of his life. Typically between the ages of about seven and twelve, he would be looking to do more things on his own away from parents and develop individual interests. This should be a time of exploration and the next step on the way to independence before peer relationships become important. It often brings complications if previous developmental phases were dysfunctional, as they were with William. Instead of embracing his autonomy, he was awkward and lacking the social skills needed to enjoy it.

William’s story unfolds in Day 1 and Day 2 and Day 3.

I remember very little about the time of my life before I became a teenager. The years between seven or eight and twelve are a blur and details are hard to come by. We spent a lot of time outside as kids did in those days, unsupervised but punished if someone complained about us, as they often did. We played soccer and other games, built dens and it was my job to stop my younger brothers getting into trouble. That’s really all I remember until I reached the age of twelve when I went to a new school. The time before that had been spent in the same small school I went to at five, where we had wooden desks with inkwells and we wrote with pens that needed to be dipped in the well. It was a place of comfort but I had a real fear of the teachers there. They were old school but looking back now were also fair…

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Dr. Nicholas Jenner, a therapist, coach, and speaker, has over 20 years of experience in the field of therapy and coaching. His specialty lies in treating codependency, a condition that is often characterized by a compulsive dependence on a partner, friend, or family member for emotional or psychological sustenance. Dr. Jenner's approach to treating codependency involves using Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, a treatment method that has gained widespread popularity in recent years. He identifies the underlying causes of codependent behavior by exploring his patients' internal "parts," or their different emotional states, to develop strategies to break free from it. Dr. Jenner has authored numerous works on the topic and offers online therapy services to assist individuals in developing healthy relationships and achieving emotional independence.

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This Post Has One Comment

  1. There are many familiarities to my own life, and feelings…

    And it must of felt like William had been betrayed when his mother defended his father after all he did to her… and then got the blame for helping her…

    Unbelievable! I’m not surprised he moved out of that home. What a completely toxic, damaging environment.