A staggering amount of my clients who identify as codependent and are in a relationship with a self-centered or abusive partner have attempted couples therapy. It is also staggering the amount of times I hear that the reason for the couples therapy is that the abusive, controlling, sometimes narcissist partner feels they need it to “fix” a problem in the codependent. Yet still they go ahead with it.
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Even more alarming for me is how many times the fact is reported back that “the master manipulator”, that these people can be, was given centre stage by the therapist to claim himself as the victim. I have seen this particular pattern played out many times and it is something I look for closely when taking on new clients. Couples therapy is unfortunately one of the many tools in the armory of a narcissist to put the problem somewhere else. Victims of these people need protecting, not being made to feel that they are the main issue.
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100% agree and experienced first hand. Luckily, my therapist saw thru him and told me to rin and never look back. That’s exactly what I did. Best decision I ever made.
Thank you for this post.